Not so up-to-date now....

But I am working on my website. And have you seen my Dr. Nociceptor Comics? Oh, wait, they're not scheduled until the 24th, but there are Lou Ryan comics at the time I'm posting this. They're quite delightful.

Getting back on track...

Before the big move, I'd introduced myself on a very fun forum and had expected to, by now, be posting all about my interesting discussions. However, I haven't been online much - in fact, my artificial intelligence, MAL, is still sitting in the corner, covered with yet more sawdust from all the modifications being made to the new lab.
` This piece is actually my introduction on the forum for The Skeptic's Guide to the Universe - one of the most entertaining and highly rated podcasts - period. Give it a listen today! Not wanting to have to write any new material, I instead consolidated all of my earlier introductions in other forums into one giant mess - and then thought it was really too amusing to clean up.
` Perhaps I should have... then again, I always tend to regret the times I don't write something bizarre. Maybe it's the loneliness. Anyway, I present to you; a deeply revealing and entertaining review of... myself. It may surprise you!


Determined future skeptical leader seeks skeptical community for companionship, achieving goals, pie


Greetings everyone here, which may include Novella cubed, Bernstein, Watson, not to mention that Mike guy. I'm keeping my eye on you, Mike!!

My name is (initially, ha!) S E E Quine, but you can call me Dr. Nociceptor (or Spoony, thanks to James Randi's influence) and I am here in this forum to provide rich, chocolatey input.

And a complementary life history, because damn it, there's tons of them lying around here!

Let's just say I used to be the the kind of person who would say; "Well, most scientists are just closed-minded, but you'll see!" and was actually on a destructive path towards Ramtha (that JZ Knight lady talking in a funny voice).

I blame it on bad parenting. No, seriously. My family. You would never believe the stuff I could tell you, seeing as you'd require evidence, and that was stolen by the most psychotic family member of all! Honest!

It's a conspiracy I tell ya!

Okay, cutting the crap; I was already an avid science (and also pseudoscience) reader, and caught skepticism sometime around the millennium from reading Skeptics and True Believers, so you can chalk my presence here up to Mr. Chet Raymo.

In order to put all of my sacred cows to pasture, writers like Gardner, Shermer, Pinker, Sagan, etc. were getting my dollar - their books and articles were so inspiring that I had to write a movie about skepticism and science, despite the fact that I was just an average citizen, clueless about the movie-making industry (and writing, for that matter).

Before I could do that, however, I had a pretty rough couple of weeks involving sharp, pointy objects ripping into my flesh and bone, imprisonment with no food, water, or medical help, and constant injections of brain-altering drugs.

We all know that one, right?

I fled in terror to the Pacific Northwest *waves eastward towards the Rogues like a huge dork* and for a while, lived next to a natural foods Co-Op where I fell in love with Skeptic magazine, which could be found on the shelves amidst periodicals in praise of psychics, naturopathy, and BuddhaDharma knows what else.
` One day I couldn't find any Skeptic on the shelves and asked a manager why: She said the Co-Op had only been selling one issue per month. *Ahem*
` Depressing, yes?

I've been blogging about science and skepticism for a few years now, among other things exposing Ramtha by trying to explain just how quantum physics really works, not to mention 'what the bleep' bait and switch tactics are being used.

I say 'trying to' because a); I sucked back then and b); one of the commenters (the 'anonymous' one, as usual) was hopeless and produced my very favorite pathetic hate-comment ever: 'Go lick your girlfriend Your "critical thinking" is a joke. Go get an education before you make yourself anymore of an idiot.'

A true badge of honor!

Today, I am part of a budding film production company, Lou Ryan Productions, complete with many multi-talented people, and have since started up a new, more amazing screenplay for a brand-new genre of movie; the 'skepticomedy science fiction'!

You know, the kind where the main character is a charlatan and has a sister who believes in the charlatanism, plus an entire civilization of people whose way of life is based on science? Oh, and aliens with incomprehensible anatomy. Can't forget those.

In addition, I'm about to try building a website, partly based on old blog entries, called the Corrigendopedia. Sloagan: 'If you'd learned it right the first time, we wouldn't be having this conversation.'

Not only that, but ever since the whole pointy sharp pain incident messed me up, I've been secretly studying to be a mad scientist. For real. I have evidence!

Okay, that's a drawing of a photograph. You all believe me, right?

As Dr. Nociceptor, I intend to dish out said rich, chocolatey input for my fellow skeptical (and maybe not so skeptical) forum members, and also hope to obtain support for my crazy scheming and plotting to educate the American public - I mean, to take over the world - I mean, um, educate the American public.

I hope to get to know you forum peoples, including, Rebecca, Jay, Bob, Evan, Steve, and of course that other guy! I love you all! You know, as a skeptic.

Sincerely, with extra deep dark chewy love,

Spoony Quine

...Which rhymes with 'wine', for the record, as introducing myself as 'S E E Quine' somehow mysteriously causes people to assume my last name is, naturally, Quinn.
` "Quinn, huh?" they'll say, or even worse; "Like Dr. Quinn?"
` I call it 'Quine's Law', which, if my predictions are correct, will be bastardized into 'Quinn's Law'.

Thank you.

P.S.: My movie will include such scientifically accurate features as inaudible explosions in space. Does anyone out there have some other 'sci-fi movie inaccuracy' they'd like to be made right on the big screen? Thanks!!

P.P.S: Yes, my presence really is this large in real life.

P.P.P.S.: That pie had better be good!


I was worried for a moment that I'd gone too far in hitting everyone over the head with my presence. The next time I was able to log in, however, I was pleased to see I'd gotten a reply:

Well holy scary!! The Doctor seems to be in!! Welcome.

Whereabouts in the PacNW did you flee? (Im in odd but lovable ol' Seattle myself)

-=Identity 4=-

Then, I actually replied to this, and later noticed that Identity 4 had broken up my reply and responded to it like so:

Quote

Hello Identity 4! You must be the fourth Identity!

Only of myself. *bows* You may have a mad scientist to contend with, but i have to put of with 4 different me's.

Quote

` I'm up here in Ever-wet with five henchmen, two fuzzy creatures, and we're about to move out of our 15 x 20 foot apartment into my lab across town! It's so rad!

Everett?? Hows the view of CANADA from there? Haha... Cuz you are NORTH...WAY north.

Quote

And all this time you had no idea any of this was going on so close!

I THOUGHT i heard odd metal gnashing noises in the night...i thought that was just Boeing..

Quote

` Anything exciting going on down there in the city?

Not really...just business as usual. Looking forward to some nice skepticism at the pub next Tuesday. Im actually a bit south of the city...in Mall-shootingly wonderful southcenter!

Best luck in the lab, I'll keep my eye out for that escaped frankenstein monster...

-=Identity 4=-

Anyway, that's about the end of that.
` Skeptics in the Pub, though... I've heard of those and probably ought to check that out! In the meantime, I have a third job to find and much housework and remodeling to be done.
` At this very moment, Lou Ryan is completing the walls in which he has recently installed three windows. It's so nice to have complete thermal protection from the cold, wind and rain once again.
` You know, lab equipment runs so much smoother when it's protected by walls.

I'll be back.

Rabbits of doom!

` Once upon a time, I'd heard that former president Jimmy Carter was attacked by a swamp rabbit, which he said was hissing and gnashing its teeth. Indeed, I checked out the story, and as far as I can tell it's true. Look - there it goes!
` A year ago, this fearsome creature gave me an idea... and now, it has come to fruition!

` Überbunnies! Bringing joy to a peaceful suburban neighborhood near you.

` And in such a variety of designer colors, too!

Failed Experiment #165: The Goner Rhea

` I'll have you know that in order to post this, I had to finish and photograph a drawing I made, so I hope you like it, my G's - Gareth, Galtron and G-Man! Without further ado....

` Rheas are wonderful and quite stupid birds, gray in color and rather large for the size of their brains. As with ostriches and cassowaries, the male rhea mates with many females, who lay their eggs in one nest and then move on to someone else. The male then guards the eggs and raises the chicks, defending them from anyone or anything that comes by.
` You can't possibly imagine what I had to go through to steal some eggs - and that was only because I was too afraid to approach the much more treacherous and dagger-clawed cassowary!
` I took my illegitimate eggs from various nests home, where I applied some genetic techniques that had been only tested on chickens. Until... then.
` The new breed, which I tentatively dubbed 'Old School', was meant to retain some of the primitive characteristics of its ancestors. However, the manipulation didn't do much other than change its internal organs around a bit (and allow the males to be able to sexually satisfy large bovines).
` However, I was a bit disappointed in the initial experiments, so I tweaked the next batch a little more... the offspring's head and toes turned out to be disturbingly like the primitive reptillian birds of the Jurassic era, which resembled dromaeosaurs (such as the well-known Velociraptor) except with the ability to fly.
` So, reunite a modern ratite with its ancestral heritage, and what do you get? Well, there's a reason that Old School has been since nicknamed 'The Goner Rhea' - I call it the Rhea of Dread or 'Dire Rhea'.

` Thank goodness I didn't mess with the proportions of the limbs - otherwise it would have had quite a reach as well!
` As it is, I've shipped the dangerous birds off to an island in the West Indies in order to lure in silly cryptozoologists in and kill them one by one.... You know, the ultimate diss.

` And a note to the G's... I would have finished this post right away if I hadn't been at a Medeival Fair, full of k-nig-hts and other strange creatures. I was so exhausted I didn't even bother going to the pudding and porn party at Nympho's!
` I've been really busy otherwise, and as for today I finally managed to figure out why MAL likes to slow down to a crawl and shut off spontaneously, especially during virus scans. Apparently the fact that our neighbor can cause my sensitive lab equipment to suddenly restart (or even cause a short-circuit!) just by turning on his microwave is a really bad thing and should never happen.
` So, I got myself a UPS, which is much better at conditioning my current than the Monster Power conditioner I was using - now MAL has no problem with virus scans and is slug-like no more.
` As for Lou....

` Well, I'd best be off to bed. Hooray for posting this before midnight! I somehow feel less like a slacker!

She made a Crab Monkey out of me!

` Crabby, I don't know how you did this, but I can finally see now that my DNA was put to good use!

` ...And it's even a boy! I've always wanted a mutated offspring of mine to be a boy! My dear Crabcake, you really are delightful! I must show you around the lab sometime....

I know, I've been a little blog-idle....

` ...And that is because I am currently preoccupied with various mad-scientist-type things! (So, that's good!)
` For example, I've been testing some home-made DVDs of evil out on Book Listener until just now. Earlier on, I sent off for my Mad Scientist's passport, which is quite exciting, as well as kill an hour going to see my cybernetic specialist, Dr. Nguyen (which, yes, is pronounced 'ngwinn'), for some leaks he had already sealed!
` In the meantime, why don't you take a look at what vole-in-hand () has made for the Zebra Girl forum?: It depicts the duel of Soap () and MrBigMr (). Right at the end is my likeness (with goggles), which I had carefully hand-drawn and made into my avatar ().

` Looks like I've destroyed the world! Isn't that delightful? (If you'd like to see the entire disturbing thread and what the hell is going on, this is it.)
` Well, I must say I have more and varied posts in the works for this blog - I've just been too busy to finish any. But I will. Sometime....

` P.S. Can anyone tell me how I can fix my 'About Me' section on my sidebar? I seem to be dyslexic when it comes to HTML....
` Update: June 2 - Thanks, Aaron!!!

WARNING: Sexual Radiation!

` I would write some science here, but MAL is not yet well-calibrated. So, why not a post about such things as my irrisitable Sexual Radiation, or 'Sex Rays'?


` First of all, I should make it clear to you that a whole Cargo Hold of Lust is in the air. In fact, I recently saw this personal ad in a weekly paper next to a horny, gay cupid named Bobby calling attention to 'Wildhearts':

FULL DENTURE WEARER
And without them in, my saliva-enhanced
tongue can satisfy any female/male or
Bi couples who enjoy oral action.

` I could imagine! I'm just not sure I want to.... Anyway, I suddenly seem to be attracting an unusual amount of men. And women. For example, I was walking up to a Delicious Man's house Sunday night when this black Jeep came around the corner. This girl - drunk, I would imagine - was shouting at me from the backseat: "You! Your ass! I like it!"
` Taken off-guard, I barely had time to call back to her; "Thank you!"
` Monday night, I met up with a guy who resides at - and fixes helicopters on - the nuclear-powered masterpiece just offshore. We'll call him 'Navy Guy'. I showed Navy Guy some of my more interesting inventions, tested out a new piece of infrared equipment, and he taught me how to fold clothes like they do in the military - now they fit much better in their allotted storage space.
` Yes, even mad scientists fold clothes. Now, don't think anything 'happened' between us - the only substance we swapped was that of anecdotes. Navy Guy merely stayed over until about midnight, after which I showered and finished off my left-over pasta.
` On Tuesday night, I spent some time with the Delicious Man - who I had only met a week before. Blowing the Lucas* out of my nose (minor spill), I hopped a bus back downtown for swing dance lessons where I talked to someone I'll call Really Awesome Guy.
` Nothing's really going on between us, either, but I think he digs me. And he's really awesome. I may put an act together and go to Open Mike night at a cafe near where he lives.

` So, I now know three more people - all guys - and I can thank my copious amounts of Sex Rays for them.

` When I sit back and ponder all this, I think of how bizarre it is to me that I am not the recluse I once was. In fact, yesterday I helped an old lady who could barely walk to get someplace. I would say that life is really different nowadays. Different and good.

` *That would be his name.

Greetings, unwilling subjects...

` ...and welcome to my temporary hideout. (Hey, I'm on the run at the moment!) It is yet another year - or at least it is according to Gregor. Bah! Gregor... trust me, his calendar is overrated.
` Anyhow, this is my blog. So, who am I? The short answer:


` Yeah, I'm kinda scary. Word of advice; don't run into me in a dark alley - It's not as fun as it looks.
` Though I am usually far removed from outside culture and tradition, I have (for once!) decided to create some New Year's resolutions for 2006. They are as follows:

~ Procure a suitable laboratory.

~ Rebuild MAL 9000 and install him in the new lab.

~ Earn my Ph.D - before someone discovers my twisted and malevolent schemes!

~ Start a blog. (Well, at least I have that one taken care of.)

` So... those are my plans. Sorry to say, I have some Important Scheming to attend to, so if you will excuse me....
` I will see you tomorrow. Sleep well.