A Journalism Assignment

` I am working on Yet Another Blog Post That Attempts To Explain Skepticism More Clearly, and this time I have a somewhat different approach. In fact, the first half is more or less finished - though written on paper - but I'm too lazy to actually type it in and add the rest of it, then edit it, etc.
` In fact, the post relates to what this quarter's psychology teacher says about what science is. (His is different than the angle I've been writing from.) But, before I finish that I thought I'd pop in to post something else school-related; two more assignments from my Journalism class! (I've been wanting to get my final, but the teacher won't be in her office until next fall, so I have to wait until September to get it back....)
` The first assignment (actually, it is the first part of one assignment) is based off of the minutes of a (fictitious) council meeting. As you can see, it is written better than my post thus far:

~~At the last City Council meeting, a Vietnamese potbellied pig helped to persuade members to declassify them as farm animals. The result is that these pet pigs can be legally kept within city limits.
~~Janie Finck, the owner of the present pig Bo Jackswine, said of the outcome; “Thank you very much. Bo thanks you very much. I am very happy. And Bo did excellent. He was definitely a ham.”
~~The pig didn’t speak, of course, but he did charm council members with his endearing, puppy-like behavior into overturning the ordinance passed last week which banned them from the city.
~~The owner of two potbellied pigs, Kris Guidice, was greatly relieved. “I took off work,” she said. “I haven’t slept in two days because I’ve been so worried about it.”
On a less triumphant note, it was also agreed during the meeting that five positions would be cut from the police department in order to save the county money.
~~Police Chief Samuel Safety at first objected this cut because the police force is greatly needed with crime rates on the rise. When it was suggested that the office workers at the police station could be the only ones to lose their jobs, the proposition was approved unanimously.
~~Other items included considering the rezoning of 34 acres of agricultural land for building homes on, and considering spending $44,000 on vehicles for the city’s maintenance personnel.
~~In a few months, however, the one thing that anyone present is sure to remember about the meeting will be the potbellied pigs. Upon getting to know Bo Jackswine, Vice Mayor Charles Shorter even considered getting one himself.
~~John Hood, owner of a potbellied pig named Gidget, commented; “If was either they pass it or I’d have moved out. You can steal my truck or anything else, but you better leave my pig alone.”

` The second part of the assignment was writing another article based on a (completely made-up) police report:

~~A college student was killed last night at his job at Tom’s Pizza during an attempted robbery. The suspect, William McDowell has yet to be tried.
~~The victim, twenty-year-old Thomas J. Alvarez, was working behind the counter when McDowell entered, concealing a handgun and looking for cash. It seemed as if he was about to order a pizza, but the gunman’s true intentions became apparent when Alvarez asked him what toppings he wanted: McDowell replied, “I really want all your money.”
~~The suspect then claims that Alvarez appeared to reach under the counter, prompting him to fire the bullet that quickly proved fatal. With Alvarez out of the way, he was free to run behind the counter to attempt to open the cash register. Finding this to be difficult, he threw the register on the floor before shooting it five or six times.
~~Giving up his struggle to get at the cash, eyewitnesses say McDowell ran outside and into an awaiting white Ford Mustang. Another man at the wheel drove the getaway vehicle off the premises.
~~The two suspects were evidently not counting on being followed. However, it happened that another employee, Andrew Caspenwall, was just arriving on the scene and pursued the suspects in his delivery vehicle.
~~As they were passing though the Pauley Park area, the suspects fired several shots at Caspenwall, missing him each time.
~~Caspenwall reported that the perpetrators’ vehicle was speeding so fast that when the driver attempted to turn onto Parkview Avenue, it skidded and flipped onto its side.
~~William McDowell was found inside, unhurt but dazed, and identified as the shooter. The other suspect is still at large.
~~McDowell says that his reason for the robbery is that he was strapped for money because he was jobless and had a substance abuse problem.

` Cheery, huh? That's why I'm not going to be a journalist - at least one who has to write things like that! Personally, I prefer writing about new inventions, discoveries and technology, including the newfound ability to clone viable sperm! (Now men who may have genetic defects concerning sperm production can pass those defects on to the next generation! Whoo!)
` Well, I've got to go - that crawling sound is emanating from the sink drain again....