Saturday, February 03, 2007

Now here's a theory I can get into....

` I'm being negligent of this blog, because I kind of have a life now. However I read this article the other day at the Spoof and laughed a bunch. Behold!
Flaws Found in Intelligent Design Theory
Written by Asia Babe
Story written: 16 January 2007
Rated 3 out of 5

[Photo] Dr Harvey and his assistant Wilma Val Putin examine DNA errors.

In an announcement sure to rock the scientific world, Dr. Jack Harvey, a noted biochemist, claims he has found several flaws in the scientifically regarded theory of "intelligent design".

"There are several aspects to the theory that just don't fit together", Dr. Harvey claims. "Penguins, for example. Why would any intelligent being design such a bird in such a harsh environment unless as a cruel joke". Harvey claims that the birds awkward motions and inability to fly are not intelligent at all. "In fact, Dr. Harvey continues, "this bird is the work of a total moron".

Dr Harvey also claims that mosquitos, flies and many forms of bacteria are also not intelligently designed. "Not to mention ostriches", Harvey says, "Have you ever seen a more ridiculous looking animal? If I was the designer I'd be embarrassed to have my name attached to it."

Harvey claims that even human beings have faults which a truly intelligent being would have solved before placing them on Earth. "Some humans are fine", he said, "while others have very large noses, floppy ears, mental problems, tend toward obesity or develop some sort of illness. A truly intelligent creator would not have allowed such discrepancies".

Dr. Rob Weinstein, a respected molecular biologist, disagreed with Harvey's statements. "Harvey has no idea what he's talking about", Weinstein stated, "even the smartest of us make little mistakes. To err is human!"

Some scientists say that Harvey's claims bolster the ridiculous idea of "evolution".
` How's that for a parody? And a really satirical and outlandish one as well! Well, I'm off to life more of this thing I call a 'life'.


G-Man said...

Really? You have a life?

OK smart ass, what if your so called life was Cyber? And we were REAL?

Pretty fuckin heavy huh?

Galtron said...

Don't forget our brains are hooked up to our bodies backwards so it takes longer for signals to get across, and our breathing and swallowing tubes are switched around from the way our lungs and stomach are positioned, for no other reason than to make it easier for us to choke!

Yes, our designer was a complete and total moron! Either that, or wanted to give us a hard time!

Jeff Vachon said...

I don't know if this story is for or against ID. But it is hilarious!

S E E Quine said...

` Um, I'm pretty sure it's making fun of Intelligent Design.

` Of course I know the response of an IDist - they say 'there's some purpose to everything that looks stupid' just as they say 'there's some purpose to everything that looks evolved'.
` Hence, the humor!

Jeff Vachon said...

It IS poking fun at intelligent design. I should know. I wrote it.

S E E Quine said...

` You're an Asian Man Babe? Awesome!

Jeff said...

I have since changed my moniker to NickFun. Too many people were emailing me asking me for dates.