Thursday, January 12, 2006

Outsider, not by choice.

` I will admit, mad scientists don't have much of a social life. Additionally, I was practically born and raised in a cave. Nevertheless, I somehow managed to have two good friends as a kid.

` For a while, anyway....

` Tina LaFerrier was the wacky redheaded girl in my first grade class at Sydney Fenn Elementary - which was a block away from my house. She was the only person I'd ever really related to at that age, as we both had something in common - hyperactiveness and much silliness.
` Though my desk had been permanently moved into the corner, we got to spend all of lunch and recess together making up weird games and a fake 'language', in which we had pretended to understand one another. That asserted our weirdness status, which we were proud of, though some kids - such as Kourtney Porter - approved of this weirdness by occasionally speaking in 'Mahic' with us.
` Plus, she was much bigger than I was, and therefore capable of defending me from kids who wanted to beat me up, pull large chunks of my hair out, etc.
` I'd never had anyone like that around before!
` The only time I'd ever seen Tina outside of school was to go to the only birthday party I'd ever been invited to - hers! I was even impressed merely with the concept of having friends at birthday parties. (Which I never did get to have.) On top of that, I thought it was awesome that her parakeet told us to 'be quiet!' when we were too loud.
` Unfortunately, the last time I ever ran into her was in the next school year, which was when she told me she'd been moved up a few grades.

` It really meant a lot to me: Most kids through my childhood, however, typically pelted me with insults, fruit, golfing putters, and worst of all, a noxious, foaming and very sticky fluid that goes by the benign-sounding name of Pepsi.
` Most adults tended to be quite abusive or misunderstanding, not the least of which was my dad - whom I've already ranted about a little. And when I'd tell him about the extensive manhandling I endured by the aides - being dragged down stairs by the arms or while in a laundry bag, for example - he'd tell me how 'stupid' and 'wrong' they were for doing that.
` It is no surprise that I had no respect for the adults in school, which resulted in my permanent expulsion.

` From ages 12 through 18, I spent my weekdays locked up while my parents were at work, so few people my age got a chance to despise me.
` ...At least if you don't count the fact that I sometimes overheard complete strangers from public schools making fun of me because they didn't understand why I was running around the neighborhood with strange instruments, taking measurements of what they referred to as "nothing".
` Didn't they learn these things in a little convention I never did take part in known as 'science class'?
` Other than that, I tended to stay away from teenagers who went to public schools. Honest - my first experiences with them taught me that they were both dangerous and unpredictable! For example, as a 5'8" twelve-year-old, I was attacked by some random little fourteen-year-old at a swimming pool just because I didn't need to wear a bra. (And I still don't.)
` I have no idea who she was, but I remember her saying; "I know a joke that'll knock your tits off! Oh, wait! Looks like you've already heard it!"
` I replied in my typically confused demeanor; " What's wrong with that?"
` Luckily, my other good friend was with me and she pulled me away before anything bad could happen.

` I met Alyssa Birch in a home schooler's meeting, despite the fact that I wasn't exactly being schooled at home. She was pretty neat to hang out with - we made up hilarious and stupid stories, took art classes together and even went 'camping' with the other home schoolers in huge cabins.
` Unfortunately, her mom was both crazy and menopausal - meaning mental instability coupled with huge mood swings. After about six months or so, she wouldn't let us even talk to each other on the phone anymore! Perhaps she thought I was a bad influence or something because we thought that playing 'gay tag' (Alyssa's idea!) was absolutely uproarious.
` Who knows? But I'll never forget someone as cool as her.

` Besides meeting Alyssa Birch, there are other reasons I'm glad I didn't go to public school: Even though most of my school day was comprised of screaming at video cameras I thought had been installed to monitor my behavior (due to my dad's mental manipulation skills), I really don't think I could have tolerated facing a day's worth of being picked on.
` My most close-up experience with such people was the time I had to take driving school with a bunch of high school students - many of whom had a tendency to make fun of me for my poor classroom skills. I was also mocked and laughed at when they didn't believe my explanation of why I didn't go to public school.
` On top of that, I couldn't believe how immature some of them were being - the ones in the back row were so rowdy that more than once our instructor put chairs outside the window and made them sit there.

` I can't say I know much about friends, really. Only that they're hard to come by and fun to be around. Thankfully, I do have a few more good friends nowadays, though they don't live close enough to get to by car.
` Far from letting that get me down, I actually use all my would-be hanging-out-time for scheming and plotting and carrying out my convoluted experiments. Nothing too interesting, yet, though.

` As for boys, now... I never really did get around to kissing one, much less anything else. And I'm almost twenty-four!
` I know that may be hard to believe, but the only guys who like me seem to be the gross ones whose cooties are incompatible with mine!


Galtron said...

I take it you spent your friendless years building small automatons in the garage and testing the toxicity of Silly Putty on stray cats?

asdfqwega said...

Good friends are always rare.

Could you describe 'gay tag' sometime, please?

S E E Quine said...

` I spent most of my time as a child either roaming the neighborhood, getting into trouble by trying to make friends with other kids, or being forced to stay up all night while my dad lectured me about his crazy delusions that I was trying to ruin his life.
` I would have been building robots, but we didn't have a garage. Also, I wasn't allowed to have Silly Putty.

` And asdfqwega, 'gay tag' is just like regular tag - except that instead of tagging the other person, you have to kiss them on the face.

Amber said...

So, how did you get to the point of having someone give you a ring, but you never kissed him??

S E E Quine said...

` Simple... I don't count boys whose kisses feel like my grandma's.

` *shudder!*

` I didn't realize there was supposed to be much of a difference at first.
` Now I know better!
` So, I'm looking for a man whose physical attention I wouldn't want to block out!

Galtron said...

Are you saying you used to make out with your grandma?

No wonder you're so screwed up!

S E E Quine said...

` Of course, that's not what I meant!

` Come to think of it, I never really did make out with this guy. It was mostly a bunch of superficial face-kisses.
` I don't recall ever connecting them to any positive emotions: I was only aware of the physical aspect, which was usually unpleasant, and so I'd tend to mop my face.
` If he kissed me on the lips, I'd think to myself; 'Eew! He's just making them more chapped!', so I'd wipe my mouth off and apply more aloe or Blistex or what-have-you. (In those days, my lips would constantly peel and blister from lack of moisture.)
` In fact, if he even touched my face with his hand, I'd think; 'Ow! Get your greasy hands off my acne!', and sometimes I'd even wash my face.

` Sadly, I had been far too baffled with my marginally liminal emotions to realize that I didn't exactly enjoy this kind of attention from him.