` My awesome, badass photos will be added soon, if all goes well....
January 27 2009 - TuesdayThis morning, Lou Ryan was in a panic because he couldn't find the contact information of someone who could make us a million dollars.
` So, I reached into my bag and pulled out the homework assignment on which he had written it (see last post).
The Cat Creatures have been chattering at the English Ivy Leaves of Evil as they blow in the wind, along with much in the way of dripping sounds. I took Violet out on the leash for a closer look at her non-animal prey, and would have taken a photo if I didn't have coffee in my other hand.
After I was done with my coffee, I rounded up some grass for her to be predatory on. She tore right into it, too, chasing it all around!
At the moment, I'm munching on some of that excellent 'wheatmeal' with some fruit, a la Chef Gangsta, of which he and Lou Ryan also ate with their eggs, bacon and toast.
During lunchtime at college the DBR (Damn Big Room) was closed, so I went on down to Conference Room A, I think it was, to find the Small Timid Girl from my acting class, wearing cat ears, as is the fashion these days.
` She had some kind of riddle involving fish, but I became confused enough to talk to Xenophon, who was writing poetry, as well as a security guy from the casino I used to be a hot waitress at.
He was pretty cool to talk to, I found, now that he agreed to tell me his name, because I really don't think it's funny when people say, "No, you don't need to know my name."
Speaking of coolness, I don't think anyone could surpass that of Lou Ryan who, after failing to record two minutes of music for my class (because the guy who knows how to do it didn't show up), he actually came to school and played his guitar, live in class!
I was utterly kicking myself for not bringing my camera, so I think I can start, in case anything can surpass that scene!
Later on, in drama club, there were all sorts of strange characters and situations. Both my group and the other group had come up with scenarios involving Keanu Reeves characters, and at the end, the instructor put them together.
` This time, Neo from The Matrix got to meet Officer Jack Traven from Speed. Not to mention, Charleton Heston, who parted the Red Sea.
January 28, Wednesday
So, I've been trying to get an acting thing going with an acting partner of mine who really doesn't seem to care about this skit we have to do. He didn't have a phone all weekend and didn't try to contact me, either.
` Today was the first time I've seen him all week. He said that he'd been sick on Monday and spent the night in jail Tuesday after some cops decided to arrest him on the Indian Reservation (even though they have no jurisdiction there) for the hideous crime of... jaywalking!
` Maybe not, maybe so.
Then, I went to Hollywood Video to rent The Red Violin, which my Humanities class (and another) are watching in four class sessions. Walking through the door I saw it sitting right on the counter, but it was for someone named Janna to pick up.
` Instead, I rented The Wall - except I technically didn't because I had a free rental and thus paid nothing for it! Woohoo!
As soon as I got home, I took both the cats out into the backyard, without any darned leashes, and we played fetch for almost a whole hour. As the evening grew darker, I proceeded to clean the entire floor, in the midst of which Lou's mother showed up at the door, as a total surprise to me.
Whoops. I'd kept forgetting she would be here, though in my defense, so did Lou!
Just as I was finishing my cleaning routine, Lou and then Matty also arrived and the jokes began to fly.
` As usual, there was a bit of commentary about the fact that her fake shoulders and hip earns her a thorough search by airport security every single time she travels.
You really have to watch out for those old ladies and their artificial joints! They could be dangerous!
At one point she said, "Can I check my email now?"
` Lou replied; "There's a bunch of black stuff in there and you're wearing a white sweater, so let me clean up first."
` Matty offered his computer but Lou interjected; "We can clean the whole house before that thing's booted up!"
After that, Lou told her about how our Crazy Landlady (C.L.) wouldn't buy carpet for the basement rooms, so it was lucky that the neighbors gave us the carpet scraps they were throwing away.
` Then, C.L. said we can't put the carpet down because the inspector told her that we need a radiant heater. Of course, Lou talked to the inspector himself, who told him otherwise.
Also, the downstairs sink needs one more part and C.L. won't buy it.
Not only that, but she made the neighbor she kicked out (because he was on strike) pay $400 before she would even give him his deposit back.
` In other words, he gave her a $1,200 deposit, but she wouldn't pay him back until he paid her the $400, which she did, and so he managed to get back the total of $1,600 he had paid her.
Like what the f*** kind of business is that?
Anyway, after a long day, all I wanted to do was go into the computer room and watch The Wall. I had only seen it once, long ago, and was actually looking forward to seeing it again.
Lou had other plans for me, however. Instead, he wanted all three of us to watch it in the living room, despite the fact that it was late and he and his mom were both falling asleep, and also despite the fact that I didn't expect this to be possible, since both the DVD players we have are dysfunctional and do not play many DVDs.
"If you're going to watch a movie in here," I said, "why not go with one that actually works?"
` But no. Well, I had no choice but to agree to let him try out The Wall.
First of all, though, if we were going to watch it, we had to turn off the fish tank filter, because it is so loud I can never hear the TV well enough to understand what's going on, and so have learned not to bother trying to watch anything anymore.
` I went to turn off the switch to the fish tank's power strip and Lou said, "No, you have to unplug it from the wall." So, I flipped the switch anyway and he said, "You are a genius."
At least I get credit sometimes.
An hour later, Lou was finally satisfied with the fact that no, neither of the DVD players accept the DVD, and the director's monitor doesn't feed into the TV for some reason, so he finally let me go back into the computer room and watch it on the Mac, as I had originally planned.
` Disgruntled to find that I'd have to stay up an hour later than I had intended, I relaxed by focusing on the connections between the movie and the tape (album), which I frequently listen to in my car.
` Yes, my 2005 Jetta Wolfsburg has a tape deck! (They're also good for MP3 players, but I've never used it for that.)
` However, right in the middle of my trying to figure out a most perplexing scene, Lou came into the room and started doing something, so of course my focus broke and I couldn't figure it out.
So, I sat there in the big comfy chair - the only one there - and waited for him to go so that I could rewind the movie and watch that part again.
` As he was just about to leave, I relaxed and leaned back in the chair, so - of course! - he just had to lean against the back of the chair, too, whereupon I said, "Whoa!", arms flailing, but he didn't seem to react and suddenly the chair shot down several inches with a loud cracking sound as I screamed, "LUCAS!!" and found myself in a horizontal position.
HE BROKE THE CHAIR! I was finally enjoying myself for once and HE BROKE THE CHAIR I WAS SITTING IN!
So, I finished the movie from a different chair, though not one as comfy.
January 29, Thursday
Before Lou had grabbed my camera to use for the day, I uploaded my most recent photos on my own computer, MAL.
` Interestingly, though there is a lot of mist today, the fish tank is pretty clear-looking, apparently because the filter had been turned off for a while last night!
` When I grabbed my coffee, I let the cats outside and we watched the birds on the other side of the fence, played 'fetch', and then they had a Tree-Climbing Contest of Ultimate Dominance.
Violet actually escaped into the neighbor's yard by climbing up the tree that the fence goes down the middle of - she went up one side and down the other. Thank goodness she doesn't actually try to run from me!
Just after, I was talking to Johnny through the glass door and Violet slipped out, so I grabbed her by the tail and pulled her back inside.
` I've learned that she does that just the other week, when Lou answered the door for the pizza guy and Violet streaked out, looked back up at Lou, and then ran around the back of the house without him even noticing.
` I saw it, however, and he didn't believe it until the pizza guy said he saw it, too.
She's a sharp one, that Violet.
Later on, in class, we watched part of The Red Violin, right up until the point where Tiny Tim or whatever his name - Kaspar Weiss - dies tragically.
` Then the high school student I sat next to, Collin With One 'L', walked me to my car. I am turning into such a socialite!
Why is my mess not cleaned up? Good question. Perhaps I can explain.... See, here's me after school with a nice glass of blue stuff. It might be mouthwash for all I know, but it tastes like coconut!
(Sorry, that's supposed to be a photo there.)
After finishing the mouthwash, I was just about to put my stuff in the new binder, but Lucas finally asked if I could put all his stuff from MAL onto a flash drive, including 2 pics he took from my camera.
But, before I did that, he insisted that he needed some stress relief, wink wink, nudge nudge.
` Well, I was really proud of myself for not forgetting about the flash drive or photos, and I went straight away to do all that.
But, since I only manage to keep two tasks in mind - that was my second one - I forgot about my mess.
` Naturally, MAL didn't recognize the flash drive, other than my virus detectors being set off by a Trojan virus.
` That created a lot of confusion. I tried sending the stuff across the internet, but we had no connection.
` Because I got stuck, and believed that I had fulfilled my two main goals of the day, I didn't even think that I may have been intending to do something else, like cleaning up my stuff, so didn't bother to look at my planner. Not that I ever seem to use it anyway.
January 29 2009, Friday
Next morning dawned and still I needed to clean up all my stuff.
I got ready to do it as I have done every day for weeks, and as usual, I was asked to do something, just like the day before. This time, it was driving someone somewhere.
` However, I managed to get out of it, so let's see if I get it done this time!
YES! At least the most important bits.
Then, Lou and I spent the morning walking around the neighborhood looking for Crazy Landlady's house (to get her street address), except I messed us up and we wound up walking around for an hour.
` I really kicked myself for that, because I said, "Maybe it's this way" when we were almost to her house!
` Arrrrgh! Anyway, we eventually walked by, twice, in view of her family, but we couldn't see her house number, so we made an inference by looking at the houses on either side of hers.
Then, we played fetch with the cats in the yard, because if we don't, they will go insane.
Well, I'm half done with the sorting of stuff. It seems that I may need it ALL sorted before I can really start on homework.
` BTW, Lou went to the store, once again, and, once again, did not buy toilet paper, despite my reminding him. Hey, if I'm not supposed to buy stuff, then how am I supposed to get it myself? Instead, I've been using the pieces he blows his nose on every day (probably why we never seem to have T.P.). This can't go on....
` Oh well, at least they were in the trash can rather than on the floor.
Looks like John from the gym is here - he has the weekend off! Hope he moves in soon!
Among the various projects I'm working on include making a home-made retainer. It actually works pretty well considering that, like most people, I suck at things orthodontic.
February 1, 2009 - Superbowl Sunday
Lou is so sweet. He spent a really long time this morning picking the pimples and blackheads out of my face. What a guy!
` After that, I spent two hours on the phone to my mom while playing with the cats, cleaning the rug with my feet, etc., that's what I call multi-tasking!
Then, I went schmoozing with the gym crowd, then Tacos of the Sea crowd, it's amazing how well I'm getting along with people.
` In fact, Adam from the gym was telling me, "You're just so cool, and sexy... and cool." That's a direct quote. Not easy to forget!
Home again, home again, to find Johnny in the driveway talking to a friend who was getting into his car whilst Vada snuck out the downstairs door into the driveway. Instead of saying, "Hi," I said, "Hey Johnny, can you grab the cat?"
We're so proud of B-Gangsta. I know I am! Today he had a tough day at work - first, he somehow managed to spill a huge thing of hot chowder on himself and the rest of the kitchen, and though he was a bit singed from that, he didn't even want to go home.
` 'Cause he's Gangsta tough.
` As he, and other people, were scrambling to clean up the mess, tickets started coming in, and it turned into a very busy day! In all, the line was going pretty constantly and he made about 120 plates of food... all without smoking a single cigarette!
Go Gangsta, go!
This is me, preparing for the 3-D Superbowl thing that I knew nothing about (photo here.). Brad, Lou Ryan, John, Johnny and Matty were all in the room when... it happened.
After the 3-D commercials, a collective "That was lame!" could be heard reverberating throughout the room.
Since Matty has yet to bring my video camera charger back, he put his own camera on my bed and told me to take it hostage until he brings my charger back.
And this is just the sort-of odd stuff. Consider the things I don't write about, like the way Vada opens the cabinet door under the sink while I'm cleaning the kitchen and just sits in there, listening to everything I do.
` Sometimes, I'll take a twist tie or other random object I find and play with her for a half hour or more!
I made some cookies. B-Gangsta and I called out:
"Matty! Johnny! Get in here quick, before they're gone!"
Matty: "What? I thought someone was hurt!"
Matty: "No thanks." (Walks out of room and we hear a loud crash.)
B-Gangsta: "Hey, Matty! Are you hurt?"
Johnny: "My teeth are really going to hate this."
Me: "That's what a toothbrush is for."
Johnny: "Cold as ice!"
Then he said something about picking his teeth all night.
I said, "Johnny. Seriously. Dental floss."
February 2, 2009 - Monday
I was pleased that, between J-102 and Drama, my friend "Jonathan" called! (I'd left a message yesterday.) I ran out to the bridge between the Parks and Ranier buildings and told him what I've been up to and he told me that he's going off to Europe in March. I am so jealous!
` I hope he finds a hot guy there or something and has reason to go back! And speaking of Guys, I spied TallGuy walking across campus, but he didn't see me waving from the bridge.
I also told Jonathan about my two short-lived jobs, and he told me about trying to get a job assembling Easter baskets at Discount Drug Mart (Store #7).
` The interviewer asked all sorts of weird questions about snitching on co-workers and such, which didn't seem to apply in the context of assembling Easter baskets. Seeing as they made no sense, it was difficult for him to answer these.
` The final blow to his getting a job there, however, was when the interviewer revealed that the time-frame of the job was later than it was advertised (in the paper), thus cutting into his Europe trip.
` So, he didn't get the job.
As for the skit... it wasn't what I'd gone for at all, as my acting partner has been avoiding me all weekend, as he had the entire week before.
` And so, we never got a chance to actually get an idea of what we were doing, and I was too angry to actually project it into the improv we had to make due with.
After some more Red Violin, I had a third conversation with Collin with One L, who walked me to my car once more. Wonder how many times I'll see him?
` We also observed, on the way, Jorren from Drama class, whom my skit had been about impersonating (secretly!), getting into his car. I explained how I had observed this before, like some perv, and added it to my skit.
` There was one funny part, though... since Jorren wears an orange shirt each day (and has for about eight years), everyone knew who I was impersonating when I took off my coat!
After the gym, I headed to the immense and grandiose complex known as the Alderwood Mall because I thought I had lost my Mad Scientist/Paul McCartney sunglasses. There wasn't a single pair there, and I was bummed! (Until I found them at home.)
` Being famished, however, I first made a beeline for the food court, which doesn't quite match the grandiose architecture of the rest of the mall, being a food court and all, and had a little fun with the Scared Fireplace, in which the flames die down when someone approaches.
Since I got overcharged on my order and was still hungry, I sought some sort of half-revenge by being Weird In Public by grabbing a fortune cookie I noticed on a used tray, unwrapping it, shoving it into my mouth, and pulling half the fortune out. The other half got eaten. Mmm. Half-fortune!
` 'Cuz I'm an ambidextrous maniac.
Even with no sunglasses to find (still wouldn't mind two pairs), I bought a water bottle from R.E.I. to replace the one Lou left out in the woods. I'm so sick of the one Adam gave me for free, which is great in itself, but it leaks and I always have to refill it in the middle of my workout because it's too small for the sheer amount of hydration I require.
When I got back home, I found that the house was decked with food, though that's because it's Food Stamp Issue Day, and Lou Ryan had used up ALL my food stamps in one go! As usual.
` At least, however, he'd bought lots of flour, grains, so many pieces of fish and other staples, so that should last a while.
Okay, it's 8:00. better work at memorizing that scene from The Woolgatherer! I'll tell you how it goes....
No more than two minutes later from sitting down - though I didn't happen to have cocoa with me this time - I was asked to drive A Musician to A Jam Shed.
` I didn't know there were such things, but apparently these things I thought were storage sheds are actually there for musicians to practice in so they don't piss off their neighbors/families. Wow!
` At least I got five bucks out of it.
But before leaving, I also had to help Lou Ryan upload some digital video tape. After that, though he hadn't actually done what I'd told him to do, I then worked diligently to tuck him in for sleepy-weepy-peepy-poopy-poo time.
` I mean, bedtime.
Now it's 11:33 and I'm wondering if I should practice my lines or go to sleep.
February 3, 2009 - Tuesday
Today, in Drama Club, I was quite satisfied after prison-raping our long-time Drama Veteran, Oshie. Then, I had a kickass conversation with another one of the miscreants, named Harlan. (Lotta guys want to talk to me - I wonder why?) It was constant improv the entire way, like holy cow!
You know what boys want when they throw sentences at girls like that, don't you? Yes, prison rape!
Wish I'd brought a tape recorder or something because I kept thinking an audience would get the idea that the "DBR Scene" was brilliantly scripted. Reminded me of The Woolgatherer, but even weirder and funnier.
Later on... I took pictures of playing with the Creatures outside as well as... burnt fish.
Why burnt fish?
I was preparing the fish to eat (and telling Johnny to not put dishes in the sink), when I put the fish in the oven and went over to hang out with Lou Ryan and Johnny.
I came back to check on it several times, and just after I realized it wasn't cooking fast because the oven was on 'bake' instead of 'broil', I heard the dumbest thing ever come out of Johnny's mouth.
` It was all a confusion, so I don't remember the exact words, but he said that the fact of microscopic machines, like the nano-cars made of one molecule, are a hoax.
` I mean, sure, there's a lot of nano-nonsense products out there (just look at the Google ads that appear on that site), but for sure, the nanotechnology from which it was inspired is legitimate science.
We summoned up photos of such nano-machines (actual photos, not illustrations) and still, he said, it was just faked.
` So, we looked up the journal Nature Nanotechnology and he said that was all a big WWF drama.
` I read to him extensively from an article about how to make these machines, and he wanted to know what charlatans were behind this, and he saw that one was from the University of Manchester, and declared that he'd never heard of it, so it must be some kind of diddly-crap worthless university.
` Like, seriously. Manchester? So we went to the website to show him what a big-time university it is and he still seemed to think it was like a diploma mill or something.
We found some videos, too, but the first one was for laymen and the 'talking head' in it said that Nanotechnology is the study of very small things, so Johnny latched onto that, saying, "See? It's only study! All that's theory! They're not making any of that crap!"
` So we found a more respectable video, starting with actual video footage of a working microscopic motor, and all he had to say was; "This is just a bunch of psychobabble" and compared it to the insane rantings of cult leader David Koresh.
In the end, he didn't think there was any more to it than mystic crystals and New Age bullshit. That, and my fish was burnt to a crisp, which he announced upon exiting the room. I still ate it, but it wasn't enough. Oh well, at least there are many fish in the fridge....
(There's a picture of me shaking my fist by the burnt fish.)
Incidentally, I can also say that I felt rather like this, just having been shocked by the amount my intellect had just been offended. Like, dude. It's just regular, normal, everyday technology! There's nothing mystic or controversial about the existence of microscopic machines!
Later on, Lou and I were getting ready for bed and Johnny had the TV on, and there was an infomercial for Extenz penile enhancement. (WTF?! I thought that was just in email spam!) I said, "Now there's your WWF!"
` He laughed and said, "Micro machines that make your penis larger! Yeah, I'll buy it!"
I would have probably dragged myself back to the Skeptic's Guide to the Universe forum to bring this up when it happened if only the house had not been filled with electric guitar riffs at the time....
To be continued!