Thursday, January 08, 2009

It's escaped!

I was walking into a campus classroom yesterday when I heard the words ring out: "There is a humoctopus in the building! He is going to suck your blood. Run for your lives." Today, in fact, one of my instructors felt the need to tell everyone that it was just a test, in case some people had been frightened.
` According to Jessie Gillespie, who was working there at the time:
"...[S]ince it was sent to all campus, it also showed up in… the President’s office, Board meeting, etc; and, even more hilariously, in the Early Childhood Learning Center, where it terrified the small children."
So the bastard didn't die after all, it only played dead. Why else would programmers find necessary to prepare innocent citizens for such an attack? Yes, I'm afraid the secret's out now. Except I must note that instead of sucking human blood it is more likely to spray dark purple ink that doesn't wash out.

You do know what this means, don't you? Time to clean up!


Brian said...

A humoctopus is a wily beast. Current emergency awareness plans must be modified to take this new threat into account!

Jeff Vachon said...

I hate when humoctopuses try to suck the blood of innocent unsuspecting grad students! This sort of humoctopus behavior should not be tolerated. Meanwhile, many children are scarred for life and will forever fear Early Childhood Learning Centers.

Kingcover said...

Hmmm so I wonder if in stead of it being a blood sucker it is in fact a telephone-line chewer. That would make sense because if it's able to cut out the usage of the main source of alerting people of its whereabouts it can run around campus at freewill terrorising all the students and staff. Me thinks that thing is gaining intelligence on a daily basis! Watch out Everett area. Lock up all your women and children. You are in for a bumpy ride! :-D

(OMG I need to go take my sanity pills again very soon! Lol.)

barman said...

I have a new phone. I think it has some fancy do jobber thingy that keeps humoctopuses away so I might just start wearing my phone around my neck. Just in case, maybe I will wear dark clothing in case the sucker decides to ink me.

S E E Quine said...

You guys are hularious! (Hope this new word escapes!)