` According to park rangers, an eleven-acre lake has simply up and left from its home in the Andes of Huemules National Park. They have no idea where it went.
` The last they saw the lake was in March of this year. The surface had been measured at 1,089,300 square feet, according to head of Chile's National Forest Service Juan Jose Romero.
` When they came back in May they were dumbfounded to discover a hundred-foot crater with a huge fissure in it and a few pieces of ice with nowhere to float.
` "No one knows what happened," Romero said.
` What's more is that a river of over 130 feet wide, which had been flowing from the lake, is now so diminished that one can simply walk across!
` Some scientists have theorized that tectonic activity could have caused a crack large enough to drain the lake. Little do they suspect; I am the one responsible for moving it to a secret location!
` If anyone wants their precious natural resource back, they're going to have to pay up. I ask for three billion pesos! Will anyone indulge me?