Friday, July 13, 2007

Alright, I admit it... I stole the lake!

` According to park rangers, an eleven-acre lake has simply up and left from its home in the Andes of Huemules National Park. They have no idea where it went.
` The last they saw the lake was in March of this year. The surface had been measured at 1,089,300 square feet, according to head of Chile's National Forest Service Juan Jose Romero.
` When they came back in May they were dumbfounded to discover a hundred-foot crater with a huge fissure in it and a few pieces of ice with nowhere to float.
` "No one knows what happened," Romero said.
` What's more is that a river of over 130 feet wide, which had been flowing from the lake, is now so diminished that one can simply walk across!
` Some scientists have theorized that tectonic activity could have caused a crack large enough to drain the lake. Little do they suspect; I am the one responsible for moving it to a secret location!
` If anyone wants their precious natural resource back, they're going to have to pay up. I ask for three billion pesos! Will anyone indulge me?


Anonymous said...

This is a sign that Our Mighty Creator exists! The idiot scientists spit venom at our Creator, but they are wrong!

The scientists say we are from the Big Bang and Evolution, and the wicked who believe those ridiculous lies will suffer the same fate!

Anyone who listens to these demons are not paying attention to our Creator! Scientists are not a replacement for our Creator because they cannot create, they can only use what has already been created. They have only built an artificial environment for their believers to live in!

The wicked people of Chile must repent or they will suffer!

Sometimes Saintly Nick said...

Hmm. Perhaps Godzilla was thirsty?

Jeff Vachon said...

Anonymous is right! God got pissed because the people of Chile are a bunch of assholes! And we're all going to hell! Man, that totally sucks! There coudn't be a rational explanation for something like that! Therefore, we must revert to irrational explanations! I'm glad Anonymous straightened that out for us!

Charles said...

I'm a believer in rational explanations. I hypothesize that it was spice worms and sand fish as described by the historian of Arakis, Frank Herbert, that have made the water disappear.

Now please excuse me as I remove this tongue from my cheek.

Rational Thinker said...

anonymous, you are obviously a holier than thou wackjob moron. I suppose you never ever have an impure thought, and its apparent that you haven't any forgiveness in your personality. Go back to your cave, Neanderthal.

S E E Quine said...

` Wow! First I get a guy who says he will kill billions of people with his magical penis because he is the second coming (pun, anyone?); then I get a guy who believed my very silly Wonkyfoot story was true, which obviously was written just to make fun of his own 'discovery' of a tree stump he says is a bigfoot with a visible penis; now I get one of those people who fears God and fears scientists more. ...And probably fears the usage of penises almost as much!
` Well, buddy, I am starting a new blog and I am going to write about how fear controls people like you.
` If you even listen to those who would tell you that scientists try to be God and are therefore evil, that shows me you are gullible enough to let others manipulate you with your own religion to keep you afraid of the normal goings-on of the world.
` ...I should probably add that scientists are usually humble because of their training as scientists! As I have described many times, the whole system of science is to keep a person's ego, personal beliefs and biases from coloring the way we see the world.
` They generally realize just how little we know and the limits of what we can accomplish with what we have.

` For those who have wondered, spice worms and Godzilla both have aided me in my mischievous highjinks.

` Also, Rational Thinker, I would rather you didn't insult Neanderthals so harshly!

Galtron said...

Wow, Doctor! I never would have thought you were that capable both freaking out park rangers and freaking out probably thousands of religious fundies!

Is this all part of some scheme of yours?

Kingcover said...

"Will anyone indulge me?" - ummm are we still talking about the lake here?! :P

I know beyond a shadow of doubt what happened to the lake in question! A meteorite hit it and sent many millions of gallons of water out into the surrounding area. It's so obvious I don't know why no one has thought of it before. I guess leprechauns are just too smart for people folk :)

p.s. I'm not afraid of penises!!!

S E E Quine said...

` Are you trying to tell me something, Gareth?

Kingcover said...

Umm where did your 4th blog go to? :-)

S E E Quine said...

` I had to take it off my profile because apparently, to maintain a sense (illusion) of my utter uptight scholarliness, I can't have my other blogs linked to it in any way.
` Instead, I've had to make a new profile just for that blog!

Jeff Vachon said...

The lake has since been discovered erupting from the streets of New York City! That God sure has a sense of humor, doesn't he?

S E E Quine said...

` That crazy God! What will He think of next?