Wednesday, February 15, 2006

WARNING: Sexual Radiation!

` I would write some science here, but MAL is not yet well-calibrated. So, why not a post about such things as my irrisitable Sexual Radiation, or 'Sex Rays'?


` First of all, I should make it clear to you that a whole Cargo Hold of Lust is in the air. In fact, I recently saw this personal ad in a weekly paper next to a horny, gay cupid named Bobby calling attention to 'Wildhearts':

FULL DENTURE WEARER
And without them in, my saliva-enhanced
tongue can satisfy any female/male or
Bi couples who enjoy oral action.

` I could imagine! I'm just not sure I want to.... Anyway, I suddenly seem to be attracting an unusual amount of men. And women. For example, I was walking up to a Delicious Man's house Sunday night when this black Jeep came around the corner. This girl - drunk, I would imagine - was shouting at me from the backseat: "You! Your ass! I like it!"
` Taken off-guard, I barely had time to call back to her; "Thank you!"
` Monday night, I met up with a guy who resides at - and fixes helicopters on - the nuclear-powered masterpiece just offshore. We'll call him 'Navy Guy'. I showed Navy Guy some of my more interesting inventions, tested out a new piece of infrared equipment, and he taught me how to fold clothes like they do in the military - now they fit much better in their allotted storage space.
` Yes, even mad scientists fold clothes. Now, don't think anything 'happened' between us - the only substance we swapped was that of anecdotes. Navy Guy merely stayed over until about midnight, after which I showered and finished off my left-over pasta.
` On Tuesday night, I spent some time with the Delicious Man - who I had only met a week before. Blowing the Lucas* out of my nose (minor spill), I hopped a bus back downtown for swing dance lessons where I talked to someone I'll call Really Awesome Guy.
` Nothing's really going on between us, either, but I think he digs me. And he's really awesome. I may put an act together and go to Open Mike night at a cafe near where he lives.

` So, I now know three more people - all guys - and I can thank my copious amounts of Sex Rays for them.

` When I sit back and ponder all this, I think of how bizarre it is to me that I am not the recluse I once was. In fact, yesterday I helped an old lady who could barely walk to get someplace. I would say that life is really different nowadays. Different and good.

` *That would be his name.

Monday, February 13, 2006

Vehicles are useful!

` After purchasing a new storage compartment and some more equipment for my lab, I had a chance to ponder just how tricky it is to function with the only mode of transportation I have....

` Mad Scientist Feet, tried and true.

` ...Thank goodness for my decent arches.

` Though it is my favorite way to get around, they are not always adequate. I actually do own a vehicle, though it is not physically in my possession for the time being.
` I am trying to decide whether or not to 'steal' it from the person whom I am lending it to ...though I'm not sure I like the idea of stirring up hostility at the moment.
` Thankfully, the weather has been fairly decent lately, unlike the conditions at the beginning of the month:


` It was the kind of wind that reminded me just how much I need to cut my hair - as well as precisely how sharp palm tree fronds can be.
` As my internet time is running out, I need to say goodbye for now. Rest assured I shall resume my regular, exuberant blogging as soon as MAL can be safely reconstructed (considering the unclean nature of my resident electricity) and fitted with my own brand of internet service.

Sunday, February 05, 2006

I'm in.

` Last month, the crocuses were just starting to bloom while my laboratory was even less mature. Today, nearly everything is in place. It is a triumph. Well, nearly a triumph, anyway. I have installed the appropriate equipment in the respective gaping holes in the walls, and sooner than later, MAL is going to have a second chance at life.
` The only things that remain are finding a lock that will fit my door, and window blinds so that my mad science remains a secret. As it ought to. Right now, anyone could technically walk in and steal anything they wanted to if they could only get past my mechanical henchmen.
` Which has never happened.

` In any case, it won't be long until I can get on with my plans. How I long to pick up work once again....


` And what is my work? If you guessed eventual global domination, that isn't it. In reality, something much more interesting is in store for the citizens of earth. Unfortunately for my faithful readers, I won't tell anyone until it's too late.
` Nothing personal.
` As for now, I have no computer of my own to use for the moment. I've managed to snag a few minutes online, and as they are nearly up, I really need to get going.

` Until next time....