I'll continue with Kent Hovind's infamous dissertation, but first...

I can't believe how busy I've become that I've forgotten all about blogging! Luckily, quarter's almost over and I'm getting okay grades, plus I have The Best Roommate Ever -- a mad science-type like me! -- to whom I am also teaching Spanish!

Next post will be the next part of my Kent Hovind analysis, but first, a few words from the YEC who started this mad studying of mine, as well as my response.

Technically I started this incident, on a Facebook message, thusly:

...One other thing, though, seeing as this just happened as I got online. Just one video in on YouTube and I slipped upon and cracked my head open over this one:



I'm rubbing my scalp right now. Hurts like hell, and I wanted to share the pain.

Reason is, it's this guy who is asking Richard Dawkins a question that makes absolutely no sense at all, hence my cranium is still throbbing.

I started to think to myself, though, "[AR] would know what the big deal here is, wouldn't he? I should show him this."

I just wanted you to hear this question and tell me, in two or three sentences, why I would have a facepalm print.

Why I would ask you to do this, I don't know. Maybe because it's the first video I've seen with the word 'creationist' in the title for a long time, and because I was just thinking of you beforehand.

In any case, I'm not trying to belittle you or anything, I really think this is a good question to ask since I know you can do this.


He wrote me back, and I responded, although I needed to post so many additional clarifications and such afterward ("...also, I forgot to mention...") that not long after, I re-edited the entire thing, incorporating all my corrections into the original text.

In doing so, I also copied and pasted his message into my message, and responded to each of his points so that we start with a part of his response, then follow with my answer to it. This is literally my message to him, not modified in any way other than my own text is green:

"Okay, okay, we get that evolutionary theory teaches continual improvement - the idea being, that these complex organs and systems developed in less-evolved creatures, which led to the creatures themselves becoming more and more complex, etc. It's not that we think Darwinists believed the first humans or humanoids were blind - that WOULD be silly, and a blatant misinterpretation of the theory."

Indeed! Although what do you mean by 'we'? So many creationism proponents also say things that you wouldn't agree with, and many of them are disparaging towards Intelligent Design for various reasons, so it's not as though 'creationists' are a coherent group.

"So I believe the guy who wrote all the little captions for this video didn't quite understand what this cat was really asking here."

Actually, I often have heard some creationists literally say things like, "Evolutionists are so stupid because they think their ancestors were stumbling around without eyes and had to wait millions of years for eyes to evolve. Imagine! People unable to find food or make shelter, and they would have fallen off cliffs! Obviously, since that's impossible, then evolution is impossible, and that's why anyone who believes it is an idiot!"
` I'm not joking -- this is a very prominent view, which is why I would think the interviewer had the same idea.

"What he's asking, in essence, is how creatures were supposed to function WHILE these systems were coming into being in the first place - which, okay, Darwinists have a perfectly feasible explanation for, from their point of view."

Well, what do you think their point of view IS? I'm interested to know.

"The idea of irreducibility, simply put, is that these systems are too complex to function with any one part of them missing or incomplete - that these systems must be whole and in proper order to function and sustain the life they are part of."

I know the concept; the problem is is that exactly none of the systems ever proposed are actually irreducibly complex; simpler versions exist, which instead of being non-functional have a different function. Also, their various components also have other functions in other structures -- the same parts are used over and over for different things.

It's only a matter of combining components that already exist which can make more complex structures, which are far from irreducible. Which example would you like me to give you?

"An eye may be a bundle of nerves, but it is a very specifically oriented one, unlike any other in the body."

Do you think biologists aren't aware of this?

"Moreover, creationists observe patterns - we see that the eye is not really a unique system, and that, though other creatures possess variations on this theme, the eyes of most creatures are quite similar, both in their function and complexity."

That's not true: When you look all over the animal kingdom, you see eyes of various 'stages' of complexity.

That's because some animals have very simple eyes because they don't need, or are not able to use, more complex ones.

For example, the snail-like limpet only needs simple eyes for detecting the shadow of a predator. While it is feeding underwater, it pokes its eyes out from under its shell and turns them upward. When a shadow appears overhead, the limpet clamps down and cannot be pried up. Just seeing the shadow is the difference between life and death, so even crummy vision is a life-saving trait.

The nautilus is a more complex mollusc, also with a spiral shell, although it's more complex than a snail and has a modified foot that we call tentacles. It also has a hollow eye with no lens and seawater actually flows in and out of it. It can make out blurry images at best, and often clunks into things because its eyes don't point forwards as it swims, but this is certainly better than no vision at all.

This also applies to you -- when you take off your glasses, you may not be able to see everything clearly, but surely this is not the same as being blind! This is why only having 'half an eye' is very valuable.

Interestingly, the box jellyfish has many eyes, some simple and others are complex, with a retina, lens, etc. Yet, its complex eyes are out-of-focus because it does not have a brain that can process complex information:

It is a predator of small fish, but if it could see clearly, it would confuse the motion of bits of debris with small animals, so it would be completely confused and perhaps suffer a sensory overload. So, even with complex eyes, clear vision is not always the most beneficial!

Here, this 3-minute video will visually show you what these eyes LOOK LIKE, on the inside, and how they can improve in a fairly straightforward manner to become more effective. It is this that biologists actually see is going on with the evolution of eyes (or any other system you can think of, including immune systems, which are at least as variable as eyes).



So, now you've seen with your OWN eyes -- they are not irreducibly complex!

Some animals, as you've seen, only have an eye that tells them of the presence of light, and the cells of their 'eyes', if you can call them that, are scarcely different from other types of nerve cells, and among other things, allows them to figure out which way is up or down.

If a nerve cell reacts to light, rather than another stimulus, then it can be an enormous advantage. Even the simplest organisms can learn to associate one stimulus with another, such as good food and light.

If the first microorganism with a light-sensitive cell could associate, say, feeding on photosynthesizing organisms floating on the surface of the water with this new stimulus, it wouldn't get lost if it should drift farther underwater where it's darker because it could see light coming from where it needs to go.

So, how do biologists think that OUR complex eyes evolved in the first place?

I'm not an expert, so I can't describe this in great detail, but the gist of it is that since we're vertebrates, our first vertebrate ancestors had rudimentary, very simple 'half'-eyes (which are seen in simple vertebrates and vertebrate relatives).

Our first vertebrate ancestors to have something more like an eyeball were jawless animals that might be called 'fish', for lack of a better term. In modern vertebrate embryos, this is the kind of eye that develops first before going on to develop into the type of eye characteristic of their species.

An octopus, whose eyes are as complex as ours, is on a different branch of life's family tree, one that begins with molluscs that have simple eyes, so it could not have evolved its complex eyes from vertebrates. If you look at an octopus' eye, as it is developing, you can see that it forms in an entirely different way from that of a vertebrate's:

Vertebrate eyes develop from our brains extending to become a retina surrounded by specialized tissues, whereas an octopus' eye develops from a light-sensitive patch of skin that pockets inwards to become a retina and other structures. In other words, similar-functioning complex structures of an octopus' eyes are not homologous to ours.

Even more, the octopus' retina points forwards, whereas our retinae face the backs of our eyes so that incoming light has to pass through networks of nerves and blood vessels with the optical nerve 'in the way', creating a blind spot. This is one of countless things in the human body that biologists can point to as an example of the inefficiency of evolution.

Also unlike vertebrates, the octopus focuses by moving its lens back and forth, rather than changing the shape of the lens. Clearly, their eyes are similar to ours, but these complex structures could not have evolved in the same way; they evolved in parallel, one from an octopus common ancestor (something more like a nautilus), the other from a vertebrate common ancestor (which had a spine and breathed underwater).

The significance is, a vertebrate's eye may be able to become more complex or super-acute in certain ways, but it can never develop like an octopus' eye because our eyes are constrained by the eyes our ancestors had.

Insects, who belong to a completely different branch of the animal 'family tree' all have compound eyes, and why? Because they had a common ancestor that developed a cluster of tiny eyes that evolved into compound eyes, and that's what they have to work with. So on and so forth with different branches.

This same pattern of common ancestry is found for every organ and every gene in every organism ever studied, showing the same relationships no matter what you look at; the eye is just one example out of all examples.

Here's a twist: the same gene that triggers eye development in the first place is the same gene across different branches! Implant this gene from a mouse in a fruit fly and the fruit fly's eyes develop normally. This is one of the many clues that have led biologists to deduce that animals with eyes have a common ancestor that must have had simple eyespots, without the complexities of later eyes.

As different branches on the 'family tree' evolved their own kinds of more complex eyes, they still used the same gene to 'turn on' eye development, even though they use other patterns of genes to make the different forms of eyes.

So, various branches have eyes which are analogous (superficial resemblance), but largely not homologous (using the same corresponding body parts). Molluscs may have a particular homology of eye, although their eyes' level of complexity largely depends on the needs of the species, whether it be scallop, snail or octopus.

"On a side note, think about xenotransplantation - how doctors are able to implant organs from other creatures into humans. While these systems are themselves markedly different from the same systems found in humans, they are often similar enough to use in place of those systems within the human body. I dunno if that really has anything to do with this, I'm just throwing it out there..."

Since scientists once predicted that we can use organs from other animals because we share a common ancestor with other species and share similar cell types and functions -- similar to what I've described with the eye example -- I cannot think of why you would say that would contradict evolution in any way. Is there a specific reason?

"Anyway, the idea being, we see these systems as having complexity similar to machines, such as a watch or a computer. Even as you couldn't get a watch to form by leaving a lump of metal lying around, with nothing but the elements and time to work on it, so we believe that a system as complex as the life we see on earth could not have come about by random circumstances, but by design, the action and direction of an intelligent force of will."

Of course we do not see watches build themselves -- they are not alive. They are inert material that does nothing on its own. And yet, we built ourselves in nine months, with the help of our parents, and continued to develop into adults. No one put us together.

Thus, comparing things that -- by definition -- eat, grow, repair themselves and build offspring, to something which cannot do any of these things, is a false analogy. Left to themselves, buildings fall apart, but organisms continue taking in energy, which ultimately comes from the sun, and utilize it to continue building new life. (This is how they thwart the second law of thermodynamics, thus organisms as a whole will cheat death until entropy kills the sun.)

Where do we see organisms come from? We don't see anything building them; we see that their parents spawn them. Organisms 'know how to' make offspring -- they are literally a creative force, whereas pieces of metal simply oxidize.

So, if everything today came from its ancestor, and each of those ancestors came from its ancestor, all the way back to the first ancestor, then how did that ancestor come to be? What process created the creative force?

Here's a hint: it has nothing to do with 'lightning striking a mud puddle' or 'spontaneous generation' or other completely whacked-out ideas that nobody believes. This is ridicule, pure and simple; it has nothing to do with anyone's work in abiogenesis.

Luckily, I happen to know a video that I really think is wonderful for visually just showing you what the origin of life could look like, through the the first lipid spheres and nucleic acids to a living thing much simpler than a modern cell.

I do recall trying to give you some idea of this before, but this SHOWS you the kinds of processes that happen in conditions more similar to lifeless planets (such as Venus or Mars, but with a more agreeable climate!):

Also, there are other, partly distinct hypothetical ways that life could originate -- the biggest problem that scientists who study abiogenesis have is figuring out which one is correct. This one is still in the running, however, since it has been experimentally verified to a fairly high degree.

"While we are able to observe similarities in nature, and understand how various systems tend to be similar to one another, we do not interpret this as pointing to a common ancestry - rather, we see a unity in essence, in being, and in function."

Well then, are there explanations for the fact that the family tree of common descent is always seen in nature and never broken? In other words, why is it that EVERYTHING can be classified as being some twig or other on one big tree of life, no matter what evidence you look at?

For example, why can't God make a vertebrate with six limbs? Or a vertebrate whose eye (or anything else) develops like that of an octopus? Would God be able to make something that is half bird and half mammal, or any other impossible chimera, by combining two distant twigs into one organism?

It amuses me that some creationism proponents say that the existence of exactly these non-classifiable organisms such as the 'crocoduck' or 'rhinopus' or Hovind's 'banana dragonfly' and 'pine cone man' would prove evolution, when in fact they go against all evolutionary rules and would actually disprove common descent.

What about a fly that uses the mouse version of the gene that 'turns on' eye development instead of the fly version? Such things have never -- I repeat, NEVER -- been found, but if they were, common ancestry wouldn't make sense. If such 'signatures' were found all around us, we'd have reason to believe something besides evolution is going on.

I've also found some great videos which explain this visually, giving many specific examples for illustrations, but as that would take a while, I'll skip it for now.

"We see similarities exist for the sake of life being able to function together in the collective biosphere of the planet; indeed, this collective biosphere, in all its complexity and intricacy, we consider a system far too complex to be left to chance. If everything works together, in such incredible harmony, how are we supposed to believe it simply happened with no one to orchestrate that harmony?"

No biologist thinks that the world's ecosystems were left to chance, at least not random chance. Evolution is not up to chance -- the environment is the designer in nature. This also means that organisms sculpt and define one another in complex ways just by interacting, which cannot be avoided. Once you understand how this works, it is easy to see how it can create the harmony in earth's ecosystems.

Sure, mutations are random, and very common, and the individual life path of each life form is partly due to chance, and partly due to genetics. This is only a small part of evolution. What else were you under the impression was left to chance? (There are statistical patterns, yes, but this isn't what you mean by 'chance', is it?)

"In particular, how are we to believe that this came out of a system predicated on the idea of competition, of the weak being trampled under by the strong - particularly when we see that the "weak" and "strong" are co-dependent?"

I don't understand what you mean by this: Natural selection can work to increasingly change an organism BECAUSE the "weak" and "strong" are co-dependent. How? Simply put, today's "strong" is tomorrow's "weak": When something that can survive better than the previous 'best' of its species, it's going to raise the bar on survival standards.

Once raised, these standards can only 'ratchet up' because while species can go for a long time without changing much, they also cannot take a step back because the least fit members of each generation are the ones that die off. Organisms with harmful traits don't generally factor into the gene pool.

On the other hand, individuals with better survival traits, for better fighting off a particular disease, better able to outrun predators, better camouflage, etc. will consistently survive and one day be all that is left. With their new traits combined, you have a species that is better adapted to its environment.

Yet, because of the continuous stream of mutations, there will always be some born that have more/enhanced beneficial traits, and thus will have a higher reproductive fitness and replace the ones that were previously the fittest. On and on it goes like this.

When you factor in organism interactions, you can see that species ratchet one another along. Take for example the early cheetahs of North America. Looking at their skeletal structure, they were clearly not as fast as modern species. However, as their pronghorn prey became better at escaping, only the fastest cheetahs could survive.

In turn, only the fastest pronghorns could outrun these faster cheetahs, thus selecting even faster cheetahs for survival. They co-evolved in this way, forcing one another to run faster and faster. This is the reason why modern pronghorns can run as fast as a cheetah, and even keep it up for longer!

The North American cheetahs, however, did not survive past the last ice age and human colonization -- although some of them followed herds across Beringia when sea levels permitted it, and made their home in the Old World. Nevertheless, ancient North American species of antelope-like animals can be seen as 'creating' cheetahs in this way, and vice-versa.

Invoking Lewis Carroll, this concept can be thought of as the Red Queen's dilemma; running as fast as you can to stay in the same place. Although this is just an example, the same kind of thing can be seen happening across all species to this day, not only in competition but also in cooperation and symbiosis.

Does that answer your question?

"Anyway, I dunno if that answers your question or not, or if I missed something you presented that would have addressed my points."

I'm not sure it does, but it seems to have raised more questions.

"If I dig up any videos of Darwinists being made to look dumb, I'll kick them your way, but actively pursuing such things just isn't my style."

Thanks, but don't worry about it -- I've seen hundreds of them, it would seem, even without actively pursuing them! ;D

"I try to have a little more respect for my opponents; at the end of the day, they're humans too, and while I may not agree with them, my God still loves them. Hey. He puts up with me... :P"

While it is good to have respect for your opponents, it is not good when someone slams you for holding an argument you don't hold. THEY are the ones who have no respect, and if I've misrepresented what YOU think, just tell me.


Anyway, that's exactly what I wrote, and I even told him, in person, that I'd re-edited my original response to him for orderliness' sake, so that it would be easier for him to respond.

This was at the beginning of November and he's never responded, and probably hasn't read it. And that's why I'm posting it here -- I want SOMEone to read it!

My Annotation of NOVA's 'Judgment Day' Dover Trial Special

While my next post would be my ripping apart the so-called doctoral dissertation of one of my Arch-Rival's young-earth creationist role models (starting here), it's taking such a long time that I thought I'd post something else, which I had previously written, in longhand, just for him.

Back in February, the Arch-Rival brought up the subject of Intelligent Design and claimed that the evil atheists were suppressing its acceptance as real science. Having studied the subject extensively on and off since the late 90's, I of course argued otherwise, but as he was about to leave for work, he recommended that I watch the 'documentary' with Ben Stein called Expelled: No Intelligence Allowed.
` He also asked me how scientists explained how life was supposed to have begun, and that the theory of spontaneous generation had been debunked long ago. I started off by telling him that the theory of abiogenesis (beginning of life) has nothing to do with the theory of evolution (change of life), nor the completely wrong concept of spontaneous generation, and that it's quite a large and complex area of study, which I could tell him more about if he didn't have to leave just then.
` On his way out the door, smirking, he winked and said something like "I think you'll be surprised" or "impressed" or something like that, as though he expected that I would be stunned by what the movie 'reveals'. I immediately went to my computer and found Expelled for Instant Download on Netflix.

I watched it no fewer than three times, becoming less impressed with each viewing, let's just say.

On one level, I became so deeply offended by its childish demonization and Nazification of evolution and the people involved in its study that I actually started to get angry and teary-eyed. On another level, I vowed to clear up this distortion, so I wrote down each of the movie's claims, and, over the next few months, I managed to use the power of facts to debunk every last one of them.
` Within the next few days after viewing, however, I did manage to write up about fifteen pages of criticism and gave it to him to read. To my surprise, he conceded that I had indeed exposed some actual 'yellow journalism', and I'll have to type that up for this blog.
` However, as that would take way too long, and because I already have a massive project going here, I should probably just wait until I post that.

As a teaser, though, just after I wrote those fifteen pages shredding Expelled, I remembered a rather good documentary that my biology teacher (years ago) had assigned for us to watch because she was terrified that some of the students would think that trying to teach them evolution was some attempt to subvert their religious beliefs.
` (And she was terrified -- shaking in fact -- because she's probably had to deal with such people!)
` This documentary was a PBS Nova special called Judgment Day: Intelligent Design On Trial, and I had thought it was such a good choice that I actually began to write up a blog post about what the other students had to say about it. As was common at the time, I didn't publish it, although someday I will dredge it up for all to see.

This documentary, I thought, might at least impress the Arch-Rival in the fact that it contains lengthy commentary from both 'sides', rather than sound bites which are taken out of context to make one 'side' look bad -- as I saw in Expelled. Also, its informativeness and its utter lack of Lord Privy Seals might also give him some idea of its level of quality.
` I told him that if he was interested in seeing a documentary that I would regard as accurate, that he should watch Judgment Day, and he agreed to the next time he went to the library.
` To help him out, I wrote him up five pages of notes of my narration/commentary of what I thought was most important, for his own reference, and his own use in formulating a response.

To my knowledge, he still hasn't watched this documentary, even though I've sent him a link two separate times to the online video, last spring after he had gotten himself a computer!
` If you want to beat him to it, you can watch it at this link, and there's also another one at the bottom of the post.

I am not sure if he has read the notes I've given him, but as I have them back now, I can transcribe them here for my loyal readers (assuming I have any) so that at least someone can really appreciate this!
` Plus, I've added just a few more bits and pieces for your own enjoyment -- including a video demonstrating the evolution of a bacterial flagellum!

My notes/annotation/augmentation:

One Dover high school student did a very well-done mural of human evolution, which mysteriously disappeared one day. This seems to have to do with the fact that many Doverians were angry that only Darwin's theory was taught in exclusion to anything else, and suggested Intelligent Design as an alternative, which they claim is based in science, not religion.
` They wanted a statement read in class, informing the students of its existence, and that there is a textbook called Of Pandas and People in the library explaining what it is.

I am not suggesting that a court of law should settle scientific matters, because the evidence should -- but that is another issue. The issue here is whether or not "ID" is even based on scientific research, and, failing that, whether or not it is based in scripture.

The Dover residents talk about "creationism" versus evolution. Is ID based on biblical creationism? We go back to earlier court cases of evolution and creationism -- Scopes losing his trial, and evolution removed from textbooks so as to prevent any more trouble from creationists.
` When Sputnik sparked new interest in science, evolution started going back into the textbooks, and creationists spoke out again. Since creationism is bible-based, it violates our Constitution's Establishment Clause if taught as a fact of the world in government-run schools, and was banned in 1987.

Creationist Bill Buckingham was appointed by creationist Adam Bonsell to review Dover's textbooks. Buckingham did not like the 9th-grade biology textbook by Ken Miller and Joe Levine because it was "laced with Darwinism," and said he did not feel comfortable approving it. The book was put on hold.
` Then, we have a very brief overview of the discovery that broke the back of Darwin's proverbial camel: When finding help in classifying Galápagos' various birds, which looked like woodpeckers, mockingbirds, etc., he found that they were all different species of finches.
` Instead of different types of birds having been separately created on different islands, it seemed that the most likely explanation was that they were all made by one species of finch having spread to different habitats and adapting to different niches.
` Whoa, that one finch has a more than 'slightly' larger beak! There were, of course, many more different types of finch beaks than the ones shown. We see a simplistic explanation of natural selection and descent with modification. Nevertheless, all this is based on the observation of countless species and not some religious text.

Some people feel that this idea takes God out of the picture, including Bill Buckingham, who was allegedly the one who had destroyed the evolution mural, and enjoyed watching it burn.
` In looking for a way to mitigate evolution's being taught in school, the Thomas More law firm directed him to websites about Intelligent Design and the Discovery Institute, which was consistent with his creationism views.
` He and Adam Bonsell wanted to add Of Pandas and People to the curriculum, but it didn't happen. A few weeks later, 60 copies of Pandas turned up at the school, with a statement to be read to students about 'problems' with evolution, and pointing to the textbooks.
` Six school board members resigned in protest, and their reason was that it's creationism. In September of 2004, eleven parents filed suit against the school board, saying it was violating their Constitutional Rights -- the government should not endorse/discourage the practice of any religion. They were represented by the ACLU.

[This fact doesn't win any Brownie Points with the Arch-Rival, because according to him, the ACLU is atheistic, evil and communistic, which was especially amusing when I started to do my own investigation into the matter -- but, I digress.]

Teachers refused to read the statement, so it was read for them. As we'll see a tiny hint of, ID is far from being a scientific theory because scientific processes are what decide valid and useful theories, not interference with the school board, just so we're clear on that.
` After all, when was the last time you heard of scientists trying to force unaccepted theories on kids, for any reason? There's a reason for that; bypassing the scientific community doesn't prove a thing -- but evidence does!
` ACLU was to find evidence that ID is a clever way to disguise creationism as science so that creationists could use it to get creationism in a science classroom, skipping the scientific process. Thomas Moore was to show that ID is to "make students aware of another scientific theory" and that "it is not religion."

This was what President G.W. Bush and Senator Santorum had thought too, evidently, so they made sure that the conservative Judge Jones would be presiding over the case. The first thing he would examine was whether or not ID was science. ACLU assembled some science expert witnesses. (Pay attention to the way they word their explanations.)

Tiktaalik, an even more dramatic transitional fish-tetrapod fossil than Acanthostega, Ichthyostega, etc., had been discovered too late to be used in the trial as one of the transitional fossils, a few of which we see in this documentary.
` What is a theory? The ID proponents complain that evolution's not a fact, but in science, the word 'theory' means something much greater than a fact, as is explained.
` Also, the word 'law' means something quite different from a theory -- laws are simple descriptions, like the law of gravity. A theory is a complex explanation, like gravitational theory, which is meant to explain why the law of gravity exists.
` So, to review; law = description of a very simple natural phenomenon; theory = complex explanation for described phenomena. It's like apples and oranges.
` Though evolution through natural selection and other processes has been described, there is no 'law' of evolution because the number of variables (i.e. type of organism, type of niche, environment, what changes could happen, what DNA is available and what mutations occur, etc.) make it impossible to predict with complete accuracy as to what the next 'move' will be.

Genetics was an enormous test to Darwin's theory -- it could have contradicted this explanation, but instead confirmed it. (The "great details" are left out of this documentary, presumably for simplification's and time's sake.)
` A simple example is shown -- why humans have 23 pairs of chromosomes whereas our closest genetic relatives have 24. It turns out that we all have the same chromosomes, except that two of these in chimps correspond to one large human chromosome that has been found to be made up of two chromosomes fused together.

Darwin proposed his theory in 1859, and his basic ideas have been built upon and used for practical purposes (which depend on his theory being true), including medical research and even self-designing technology (through selection), as well as understanding virtually any given detail of the living world.
` What understanding does ID give us? What predictions does it make? What practical purposes does it have?
` Its proponents say that looking at nature as if it were designed is supposed to be a practical value unique to ID, but it is not; looking at the 'machinery' of nature as though it should be put together in a semi-orderly way -- by evolution's somewhat sloppy processes -- has always been helpful in figuring out how it works.

When you think about it, Intelligent Design doesn't have anything new to offer because it is almost entirely based on (unsubstantiated) claims that evolution doesn't make sense, and not on positive arguments for what one should expect in nature.
` So, even if evolutionary theory were overturned, we would then have no theory to explain all of biology, only that "something somehow designed species and it isn't evolution." It doesn't tell us what the designer is, how it designed or when. If you can't even define what it is you're arguing for, then how can you possibly test this idea?

See how that's a negative argument and not an independent concept that explains facts? It's not even a scientific hypothesis because it doesn't actually try to explain anything at all!
` And, because it isn't testable, as any scientist would explain -- even my Oceanography teacher, come to think of it -- it isn't science. How can you determine if something is true or not if you can't even check the idea against the real world?

By now, 8 of 9 seats on the school board were empty, including Buckingham's, and the situation for the people in Dover is getting very hairy -- as in death threat-hairy -- for the people who are trying to keep ID out of schools.
` What do the ID advocates in court have to say? Five of their witnesses dropped out. The remaining ones were asked whether there was a valid reason for teaching ID other than religious purposes.
` So, Michael Behe explains that design is the inference that parts which look designed are actually designed, and the most 'visually striking' example is the bacterial flagellum, which has parts he claims are ordered for a purpose. He asserts that if any of the parts are missing, then it can't function, thus there would be nothing for natural selection to act upon.
` He cites a 1998 paper by Dr. Daniel DeRosier, who studies such flagella, saying that this type of flagellum "resembles a machine designed by a human." So, De Rosier himself is asked and he says that he doesn't think it actually is designed, because it is clearly an evolved system, built up gradually by the messy process of natural selection.

So, does a 'half-formed' flagellum have anything for natural selection to act upon? Yes.

Just one example is the one they showed here, a 'half-formed flagellum', which is actually a 'syringe' that Yersinia pestis uses to inject poison into human calls -- it functions just fine as evidenced by the historical success of the bubonic plague.
` There are also other examples not included in the documentary, including a version that uses even fewer parts. Importantly, the proteins making up the flagellum are used in other structures in the cell, so it isn't as though they would have to appear just for the purpose of making the flagellum, as Behe would have you think.

* In one of my reams of Expelled-analysis, I drew a full-page illustration explaining how the flagellum could have plausibly evolved, and which has been backed up by actual biological experiments.
` Since it's on notebook paper and would have to be shrunk to show on screen, it would look very hazy and undecipherable, so I found a YouTube video that shows a somewhat informative animation of the same thing:

Also, the genetic evolution of each of these proteins is now understood. Cell biologists can see that the gene for one protein has been duplicated, that is, an extra copy was made, and this is seen to occur in nature. Because only one gene is all that is necessary to make a certain protein, one of these genes was now free to mutate without disrupting the production of that protein.
` A beneficial mutation caused one of the genes to make a different protein with a different job. This kind of thing has happened again and again, for each of the proteins, splitting and changing into new versions as different beneficial mutations accumulated in different lineages, creating new and different proteins:
` (Ignore the white dots -- they're supposed to be black but I can't get them to be!)

Original Protein
. ..|.|
. .\ . /. . . . . . . . . (mutation) . . . . . . . . . . .(subsequent mutations)
. . .V. . . . . . . . . . . . . . V. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .V. . . . . . . . . .V
TAAACGTGA -- TAACCGTGA -- TAACCGTGT -- TAACCGGGT
` \\ . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . \\
` . --TACACGTGA -- TACACGTGC . . . . . . .-- TAACCCTGT -- TAACCCTTT
` . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .\\
` . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . -- GACACGTGC -- GCCACGTGC

...and so on.

[My original illustration was more extensive and didn't use short strings of letters, but I hope you get the idea. As this text-illustration is off the top of my head, it does not represent an actual genetic sequence, but rather represents the basic explanation for the patterns that are seen to occur in actual genomes over longer stretches of DNA.]

This pattern of genetic diversification is also seen in the genes coding for the proteins in our immune system and our blood-clotting factors. Let me emphasize that this is one way that new information arises in our DNA, from which natural selection can work with.
` Another way is when retroviruses insert their genomes into their host's DNA, adding all their genes! When this happens in a germ cell, the retrovirus can be passed on to the offspring, and host cells have even been observed to use retroviral DNA for their own purposes!
` I mention this, of course, because one of the claims of creationists and ID proponents is that no new information can be naturally created. Since it actually does happen, that claim is disproved.

In the court reenactment (from the transcript), we see how Michael Behe testified that we have no sufficient answers for the evolution of the immune system. He says he hasn't ever read the stacks of books and scholarly articles on the subject that the lawyer presents to him, yet confidently (enough) maintains that there are no sufficient answers.
` But... if he hasn't even examined the research, then how can he judge that for himself?

After weeks of 'science class' in the courtroom, ID is not deemed any sort of science -- although, that does not mean it is religion. So, they ask, is it?
` According to a catalog in the bottom of one of the boxes of donated books, Of Pandas and People is listed under 'Creation Science' (i.e. biblical creationism). Since Pandas is the manner in which ID has been presented in the school, the question is: Is Pandas, and by extension Intelligent Design, actually just 'creation science'?

An old newspaper article was found, about a biology book which 'presents both evolution and creation' by Charles Thaxton. This article was published just before the 1987 trial where creationism was banned in schools for violating the constitution.
` Charles Thaxton is also the editor of Pandas. Was this 'creation and evolution' textbook the same as Pandas? An investigation into earlier drafts shows that this is the case. (Also, the documentary doesn't mention that the original title was Creation Biology! Really!)

Looking at two drafts of this book, one just before the 1987 verdict and one just after, they show that the texts are very similar, except that in the former draft, language such as 'God' and 'creation' are used, and in the latter, these words are changed to 'Intelligent agent' and 'design' (and references to the bible are also omitted).
` According to the former draft, 'creation' is defined as 'various forms of life began abruptly through the agency of an intelligent creator, with their distinctive features already intact -- fish with fins and scales, birds with feathers, beaks and wings, etc."
` In the latter draft, the same definition is given for Intelligent Design except that it's through an 'intelligent agency.' In making this transition, one of the editors mistakenly replaced 'creationists' with 'design proponents', resulting in a 'transitional fossil' of sorts -- 'cdesignproponentsists.'

Another good question comes; does ID offer only a critique of evolution, or does it offer something more? ID proponent and leader Paul Nelson, was asked this question, and here was his response:

"Easily, the biggest challenge facing the ID community is to develop a full-fledged theory of biological design. We don't have such a theory right now, and that's a real problem. Without a theory, it's very hard to know where to direct your research focus. Right now, we've got a bag of powerful intuitions, and a handful of notions such as "irreducible complexity" and "specified complexity" -- but as yet, no general theory of biological design."

(BTW, even to this day they haven't reported making progress on this objective.)

In other words, ID is not a scientific theory and Nelson presumably knows this. Or, is it scientific? Michael Behe, whose definition of a scientific theory includes supernatural (i.e. non-testable) phenomena, says that astrology would be considered a scientific theory under his definition.
` Science is known as 'science' because it is based on empirical evidence, which astrology has none of, other than evidence against. Which reminds me, I remember a bill being proposed to re-define what kids are taught that science is, that it doesn't need empirical evidence.
` The point of this bill was to allow ID to be taught in government-run schools. Of course, lying to our kids that about science being something other than science only serves to keep them from understanding how science actually works and how it actually requires evidence.

The Wedge Document, which highlights the ID Movement's strategy, reveals their motives and ideals. It starts out, "The proposition that human beings are created in the image of God is one of the bedrock principles on which Western civilization was built..."
` Wait... what about the Ancient Greeks? Their philosophy, arts, mathematics, architecture, science, etc. were instrumental in the development of Western civilization. What happened when Christianity took over? The Dark Ages -- that is, the decline of civilization and the spread of ignorance!
` And what happened when people started paying more attention to the Greeks' and others' ancient texts, and rediscovered all that literature and critical thinking and science? The Renaissance -- that is, the flourishing of Western culture!
` If it weren't for people who didn't believe that we're created in God's image, Western civilization might still be floundering in superstition and oppression, and wouldn't have modern technology and medicine unless another civilization invented it!

The Wedge Document also argues that the idea that we come from nature causes people to give up objective moral standards -- as though nature could possibly command us to do so!
` I can't think of anything more ludicrous -- the more-or-less objective portion of my morality certainly dictates that mass-murder is wrong, but if I thought a deity which created me wanted me to go on a suicide bombing mission, or a crusade, or kill all the Jews, or go to war in Iraq, and that anything this deity told me to do was right regardless of my compassion and concern for others, then I would have to abandon my objective moral standards in order to do it!
` It is is difficult to get people to do things they generally know not to do -- the aforementioned atrocities, excommunicating family members, genital mutilation, etc. -- unless they believe that it's for the best. This is true of any ideology, of course, not just religions -- however:
` If it's based on a 'crazy ideology' of 'mere humans', there's a small chance they could bring themselves to question it. But; what if they think that an action is being proposed by something that is supposed to be looking out for them, is all-knowing, all-good, and who promises them an eternal reward for believing, obeying, and loving -- and an eternal punishment for not doing so? It would be much more difficult to back out.

Additionally, this idea that we either come from nature or from God is a false dichotomy -- most Christians in the world also accept evolution, and in this country, because there are so many Christians, most Americans who accept evolution are Christians.
` In other words, these people think that God made them through evolution, that both things are true. How would accepting evolution mean that God wasn't responsible? Most people have a way around such black-and-white thinking.

But, back to the point -- is there religious motivation behind ID? The documentary does not mention this, but there is plenty of other documentation, including records from church meetings and public religious forums, which are hard to interpret in any other way.
` An example I can recall from the top of my head was a 1999 article for Church and State magazine entitled Missionary Man, which is about the scarily-fanatical speakers at a Right-Wing Christian conference:

Johnson calls his movement "The Wedge." The objective, he said, is to convince people that Darwinism is inherently atheistic, thus shifting the debate from creationism vs. evolution to the existence of God vs. the non-existence of God. From there people are introduced to "the truth" of the Bible and then "the question of sin" and finally "introduced to Jesus."

"You must unify your own side and divide the other side," Johnson said. He added that he wants to temporarily suspend the debate between young-Earth creationists, who insist that the planet is only 6,000 years old, and old-Earth creationists, who accept that the Earth is ancient. This debate, he said, can be resumed once Darwinism is overthrown. (Johnson, himself an old-Earth creationist, did not explain how the two camps would reconcile this tremendous gap.)

I can't picture this as being quote-mining, due to other, more direct sources I've seen, but if you'd like to challenge me on that, go ahead.
` Also, the second paragraph is important, because a big part of the object of Intelligent Design is to get rid of the details of which creation story one goes by. Did it occur over a long time? Just how much of Genesis do you have to take literally?
` These details are deliberately left out in order to garner maximum support. At the same time, without these details, there can be no hypotheses in order to test how this thing is supposed to have happened -- automatically making it not science!

The other thing is that the goal is to get evolution out of our culture, which one can only do if one has sufficient reason. If the entire object of your operation is to put forth a conclusion and then find supposed evidence to rationalize it, that's the opposite of science!

Continuing on with the documentary, the Wedge strategy's twenty-year goals include "to see intelligent design theory as the dominant perspective in science." and "To see design theory permeate our religious, cultural, moral and political life."
` In order to do that, they would need to do scientific research that supports their claims of ID as valid -- and they haven't! Phillip Johnson explains that the goal is to reverse cultural changes. This is their motivation, but where is their evidence of ID, and of supposed 'cultural changes'?

Now, Judge Jones must find the motivations of the Dover School board members, who proposed the teaching of ID. In the courtroom re-enactment, they show the tape of William Buckingham suggesting that evolution should be balanced with "creationism", but he says the meant to say "intelligent design."
` Also, Buckingham and Bonsell had sworn in their depositions that they did not know who had donated the books to the high school. In the trial, Buckingham admitted that he had given the check he had written for buying these books to Alan Bonsell, and that the 'unknown businessman' who had bought the books was Bonsell's father. Alan Bonsell must have known who this 'unknown businessman' was, yet he claimed that he hadn't! Accused of lying under oath, Bonsell claimed he misspoke.

Dover's local school board election was national news -- all eight elected opposed ID. December 2005, Jones' decision -- ID is not science, and was introduced for religious reasons, and thus is unconstitutional to teach in Dover science classes.
` Jones says, "Both defendants and many of the leading proponents of Intelligent Design make a bedrock assumption which is utterly false. Their presupposition is that evolutionary theory is antithetical to a belief in the existence of a supreme being, and to religion in general. To be sure, Darwin's theory of evolution is imperfect, however, the fact that a scientific theory cannot yet render an explanation on every point should not be used as a pretext to thrust an untestable alternative hypothesis, grounded in religion, into the science classroom, or to misrepresent well-established scientific propositions. The citizens of the Dover area were poorly served by the members of the board who voted for the Intelligent Design policy."
` "The crushing weight of the evidence indicates that the board set out to get creationism into the science classrooms, and intelligent design was simply the vehicle that they utilized to do that."
` "In an era where we're trying to cure cancer, where we're trying to prevent pandemics, where we're trying to keep science and math education on the cutting edge in the United States, to introduce and teach bad science to ninth-grade students makes very little sense to me. You know, garbage in, garbage out, and it doesn't benefit any of us. We benefit daily from scientific discoveries."
` Of course, Buckingham and Bonsell disagree, as did the ID proponents, and were somewhat appalled. Even Jones received death threats, and he and his family needed police protection. Although the trial is over, he's right -- this issue isn't settled!

The End!

Assuming you, my reader, have read all these annotations/additions to Judgment Day, I hope you have appreciated it! To watch the actual documentary, now with the information I've provided in mind as a background reference, click here.

As for my Arch-Rival, I am not really surprised that he apparently hasn't seen this documentary, despite repeatedly assuring me that he would. I guess that when you think you're right about something, it's not worth taking a good look at your opposition.
` Which reminds me, in order to tie up the abiogenesis conversation we'd had, I later did try to show him a science magazine article about the various different studies that show how life could have arisen, and handed him the magazine, but he literally rolled his eyes and did not even look at the article!

Well, I hope at least someone out there has enjoyed my annotation -- now back to destroying Hovind's dissertation!

This monstrosity is what's taking me so long

My aspirations of becoming an influential 'mad science writer' have been renewed to the point of having a friendly debate with my arch-rival (AR) in world domination, one whose lab is practically adjacent to mine, and who shall remain nameless for reasons which should become obvious.
` He is a young-earth creationist (YEC), which necessitates that he rejects most of modern science, from atomic theory and astronomy to genetics and geology. However, he doesn't think he rejects all this science because he has been told that modern science instead supports creationism.
` Being eager to shake off the rust from my lack of writing, and finding that creation 'science' is one of my favorite pseudosciences to dispel, I have asked him to provide me with what he thinks are the most compelling arguments for creationism, and so far, I have easily picked apart all of them in enormous detail, although most of it is not electronically stored as of yet.
` Now that 'AR' has a computer himself, I figured that I can now combine my blogging and my dispelling all in one go. So far, we've gone from Intelligent Design all the way down to Kent Hovind, whom I have debunked in the past simply by taking passages of what he's stated as fact and showing how they are massively contradicted by facts.
` This time shall be no different. Since AR holds Kent Hovind in such high esteem, evidently believing him to be worthy of Hovind's title 'Dr. Dino', I shall now show that Hovind is no more a Ph.D. than Peter Popoff is a healer, or Harold Camping is a prophet. While easy to demonstrate, with the enormous pile of evidence from Hovind's "unfinished doctoral dissertation" or "rough draft" (depending on who you talk to), it takes a long time and an awful lot of writing to get to every last damning detail.

I'm still working on it, though, and it's so big that it's going to have to be posted in chunks. In the meantime, however, I thought I'd engage him online. Here's what I have so far:

On his Facebook, he posted:

"I was not aware that pettiness and scientific sophistication went hand in hand."

And underneath, this really immature article written by Ken Ham. I started typing a response, and kept accidentally posting randomly before I went back and corrected my mistakes, and kept posting corrections, and it really got out of hand. So, he commented that apparently I'm the one being petty, so I did what I should have done in the first place and edited it in WordPad, apologized for that, and posted it:

Who is being petty here? Let's look:
Ham wants his audience to think that he's being persecuted by 'evolutionist' scientists, claiming such things as only a few transitional fossils have been found and later refuted. Yet, all fossils are transitional between what we call one species and another, and there are countless transitional fossils between practically any group you'd care to see. For example:

http://www.talkorigins.org/faqs/faq-transitional.html

Ham claims that 'evolutionists' don't want to debate creationists and so they start making false accusations such as 'creationists are anti-technology'. In fact, a staple of anti-pseudoscience arguments is that; since the same method leads to both science and technology, then it's ironic that believers of pseudoscience don't see this conflict!
Methinks this comes from quote-mining, which is exactly what he does when he presents the Richard Dawkins quote; it's wildly taken out of context, as it was meant as a joke!
And as for the PZ Myers quote, this is where it comes from:

http://scienceblogs.com/pharyngula/2008/06/in_which_i_have_hurt_ken_hams.php

If you do some research on this, you'll see that Myers doesn't take Ken Ham seriously because of Ham's constant intellectual dishonesty (like quote-mining), so he's not bothering to be serious himself.
` This isn't about creationism or spirituality, as Ham claims, it's about the fact that Ham really couldn't care less about what scientists really think and have discovered, despite the fact that they correct him time and time again. His response is not to answer them, but to say to the public, 'I don't hear anything from the evolutionists!' as if that makes it so.
` Since he really doesn't care about what they have to say, some of the few scientists who even bother to dignify him with attention will make fun of him and his ignorance/apathy.

It's easy to prove that Ken Ham doesn't know what he's talking about -- he makes arguments against evolution that follow the same sort of straw man reasoning as, say, my example with the 'scientists are stupid because they believe whales came from fish, not land mammals, isn't that crazy and stupid?'. Well, of course they don't! Ham just uses an inflammatory caricature of evolution in order to make his audience think that it's a stupid idea.
` This intellectual dishonesty is the real reason why many 'evolutionists' refuse to debate creationists; their arguments have all been refuted and they haven't come up with any new ones in many decades. Also, if you give people with bad arguments a public platform, then it gives the impression that the two sides are equal and worthy of debate.
` It's like this: What if I went up to you and started saying that Jesus advocated eating children and that Christians were responsible for the destruction of society, as has been done in ancient times? You'd say, "That's not true! We don't really think that because of a) b) and c)!" And what if I ignored that and started spouting to the public that you DID believe that anyway? Eventually, you would have to shut me out for not having an open mind because YOU know what you believe, and what the bible REALLY says.
` This is exactly what Ken Ham does with evolution and science in general. Biologists are not that dumb, he's just making false accusations, which I can (and will) demonstrate (elsewhere, as you'll see)! These misrepresentations he spreads are insulting and only spread prejudice and ignorance of what 'evolutionists' really think, so I hope that you are open-minded enough to accept that he is not arguing against real science!

Many bloggers make fun of FOX News for blatantly misrepresenting people who don't agree with their views. Ken Ham is pulling exactly the same tricks, so it does not surprise me in the least that PZ Myers would make fun of him in a not-even-serious way. If someone is not going to be honest, or consider what one's opposition has to say, then screw them! They've removed themselves from intellectual debate and are fair game for people to make fun of them for (apparently) lying about other people with the intent of making them look bad! ...

I have no idea if he's read my comment, but I'm going to guess he hasn't. Then, I sent him a message showing him an example of what I mean:

I've been saying that Ham and Hovind are famous for misrepresenting what evolution is (and what we'd expect to find if it's true, and what has actually been found), apparently for the purpose of making the worldwide scientific community look stupid/oppressive and stubborn.
` Today I saw this video for the first time, and it's a perfect example of what I've been taking about. I know I've described other examples of ring species before, but in under four minutes this video not only describes their significance, but shows how their mere existence specifically refutes one of Kent Hovind's arguments.



Coincidentally (or not?), the video I emailed you days ago refuting some of Kent Hovind's arguments against carbon dating was by the same YouTube user.
` Anyway, I'm interested in knowing what you think of this so far.

I asked him if he's gotten my message about the birds, and he said, "Birds?" I said, "Yeah, with the video?" and he said, "I got your message but... uhhhh... uhhhhh... uhhhh..." I couldn't bear to watch this so I said, "Just wondering!"
` After this, I saw him checking his emails on his laptop. I wonder if he got the email I sent him, which by the way, was this:

I wanted to tell you how I'm tearing down Hovind's arguments just as I tore down the entire documentary Expelled, and then some. Mind you, I'm just tearing down the arguments of a mere man, and not at all your religion!

I have mentioned before that Kent just says whatever he pleases about reality, just as long as it supports his conclusion. Well, I have gotten my hands on his doctoral dissertation, which he has admitted to being his, and has claimed that he is not yet finished with it, explaining why it lists 16 chapters when it only has four!). That's interesting, because if you are not finished with your doctoral dissertation, then you aren't a doctor!

As a writer, you will appreciate the fact that his writing ability is about the same as that of an elementary school student, and I would give him an 'F' for that alone. However, it is much worse: If you also care about facts, it is packed with untrue statements about religions of various types, science, and history, and he doesn't even cite his sources in the entire document!

To give a rather insignificant example, he claimed that Voltaire (which he sometimes spelled 'Voltair') was the one responsible for the ten-day calendar week during the French Revolution. This is impossible, however, because Voltaire had died in 1778, and the French Revolution didn't even begin until 1789, with the calendar having been formulated years later! So, you cannot deny that not only is it false, but it cannot possibly be true unless Voltaire was undead!

I cited this example because it is a plain historical fact, having nothing to do with science nor religion (so you wouldn't think I was being biased), and is so simple and basic that you can easily verify it yourself with the magic of Google.

How could anyone have gotten a Ph.D. with a paper packed with many such factual distortions in every paragraph? Because he went to an unaccredited diploma mill, which I also demonstrate fairly well. Sure, he was a 'science teacher' at a private school, but you don't need any credentials at all for that job; it's no surprise that a school that wanted to teach 'creation science' would hire this guy!

As for my project, I start with Hovind's dissertation (most of which consists of arguments I'm sure you're familiar with) and basically go line by line to prove the whole thing wrong with facts, exactly as I have done in my example above, plus I cite them all for your convenience so that you can check them and make sure that they're really true! So, double-no wonder it is taking me so long!

I, of course, am far from being the first person to extract and expose the utter misrepresentations that Hovind is so (in)famous for: Since I've been spending many evenings finding all sorts of videos on YouTube, I've found several which neatly refute many Hovind's 'arguments'.

Since you're so fond of YouTube, I ask you to watch one of them. (C'mon, just one!) It's rather detailed for its shortness, about some of the things Kent Hovind 'just says' about carbon dating being 'wrong' (i.e. his examples with mollusc shells, seals, and dinosaur bones), and the reasons why these are merely misrepresentations and half-truths. (It should remind you of my writings on how Steve Austin misrepresented the Mt. St. Helens samples as dating to millions of years old, except that it's much shorter and more entertaining!)



Please do watch it, carefully, and tell me what you think of this video, its refutations, and the way that Hovind is portrayed. I'm sure you'll agree that these are not ad hominem arguments, which creationists like Hovind have always claimed are the only kinds of arguments that 'evolutionists' have. Rather, they are actually based on facts, which you can even check yourself!
` If you would like to defend Hovind here, mind that you don't make the same kind of mistake as BigJerre!

So, there you are.

Update:

Since I wrote that last part, 'AR' has since seen the bird video, but I don't think he's seen my email to him, or any of the others before that! Or maybe he's just not saying anything because he's never actually had a response to any of the things I've shown him, other than highly flawed rhetoric about ideology.
` Right at the point where I seemed to be really getting across to him that Kent Hovind blocks out people instead of debates them, he told me that we need to stop this whole thing to avoid creating discord between us. I suppose we should, if it makes it any easier for me to take over the world. After all, you need to have a proper understanding of science in order to do so, and he doesn't have one. I do. Why should I try to help him, even though I know it's pointless?
` Because it generates material for me to put on the web, that's why! That's really what this whole thing has been about, since December! (Yes, that's what I've been spending my time doing, but not going public yet!) So, I'm still going to be working on the Hovind dissertation anyway, which is coming in four installments, and I hope he takes a look just out of curiosity because it is a metric shit-tonne of work!

This is why I aspire to educate the world!

Here are just three people who have done much to motivate me in my quest to educate the world! Here's a woman who apparently doesn't know the difference between the moon, and... well, just watch!



Ignorance is just one path to fallacious reasoning, but it's an entertaining one sometimes! Here's a woman who apparently doesn't know what embalming fluid is:



Yes, out of all places! And just so you don't think I'm picking on American women, here's a Saudi Arabian man, although at least he went on to win a lot more money:



Look out, world! I'm coming to rescue you from rampant ignorance so that terribly embarrassing tragedies like these come less frequently!

Just as soon as I make a name for myself...

The Amazing Exploding Sea Vagina -- MYSTERY SOLVED!

I thought I'd already posted this last week, but since I have not, there's been more dead space than intended, and also, this is new to you!
` This video was brought to my attention by my former roommate Mike, only a couple of weeks before he and Joel moved out. (We have a new roommate moving in today already!) He asked me if I thought it was real. It is fairly obvious to me that two different types of special effects are used, as neither type even registered to me as being the same 'creature'.
` First, CG is apparently responsible for the several 'creatures' as they rush over the rock and out of view. Then, a realistic puppet is used for the one that isn't escaping but rather sitting quite still. When the young men flip it over, it has no apparent way of moving so quickly, but rather, some sort of vagina-like opening, which they then pour soda into until it squirts, then explodes.
` I said it looked like some sort of professional grade special effects, probably with some sort of overt sexual message, but I had no clue what the purpose of it would be. Watch for yourself:



Oh yes, there were many comments along the lines of "she squirts!" and so forth. Some people thought that these things were real, citing the fact that new species are being discovered all the time, and that the squirting/exploding looks so real that it can't be CG.
` Those things are beside the point -- the one that squirts/explodes is a puppet, and you can see the way they edited the close-ups that they're probably hiding people's hands or perhaps other mechanisms controlling the puppet.

I wasn't sure what else to make of it, and the only person I could think of to ask was....



That's his latest video -- he says he has another on the way. Can't wait! I posted my question on his Facebook page, and here's what happened:

• 

  Nicholas Gunther Schaefer I believe that this may have been an attempt to find a loophole in the Japanese law requiring genitalia to be pixelated in porn.

  January 29 at 7:51pm ·
• 

  Spoony Quine I've never heard of Japanese porn being pixellated, from uh, colorful descriptions I've heard, yes, that's it, but you know, that's a good point: They might be doing this to see how much they can get away with! I mean, come on, it even squirts realistically! Lolol!

  January 30 at 5:45pm ·
• 

  Captain Disillusion Uh, nice guesses :P. But looks like this is one of a series of short films by famous Japanese horror producer Taka Ichise (The Ring, The Grudge). It's called "Mystery Meatballs" and you can watch the full version (and the other films) here: http://www.urahorror.com/

THANKS CAPTAIN D!!! He's the greatest, isn't he, folks? (Mystery Meatballs is up on the right-hand stack of TVs on that web page.) I gotta hug that guy, seriously. He's the best. He goes to TAM every year, I think, so maybe I'll meet him when I finally go there!