Thursday, December 07, 2006

My recent interest in internet videos: Draining, yet refreshing!

` A draft from November 19th - you will find the 'new tab' (or at least 'new window') function to be very useful. Otherwise, you'll have a lot of backtracking to do. And, without further commentary/oysters:

` No, I'm serious! I don't have a TV, so watching some random oddities in my own home is sometimes welcome. This is mostly because I miss nature programs. I mean, with such amazing agility and superior senses, is it any wonder that various species of animal demand our admiration?

` First off, I was quite surprised that a gibbon would purposely chase two tiger cubs, hitting them and pulling their ears! And for several minutes, at that! (Lo-quality version here.) As far as I know, that is fairly unusual - a prey species incessantly picking on two animals that could, one day, swallow it in three bites. ...Perhaps it is all part of a master plan to make the tigers fear gibbons?
` An even more amazing form of bravery occured when a cougar - which is basically a giant species of housecat - actually managed to protect her cub from a big, scary grizzly bear! I was getting worried for a moment that the bear would break her in two with its paw, but apparently it didn't feel that getting a huge scratch on the face was worth a few bites of cougar kitten.
` That just goes to show you - do not underestimate the boldness and aggression of an animal when it either has a lot to lose, or very little to lose. This is the reason I don't recommend trying to kill lions for yourself. They really don't appreciate personal death, nor are they willing to give up defending their families. That's why this video is called 'Don't Miss'. (And as far as I can tell, he got away in the end! A zombie drunken duck has better aim than those goofballs!!)
` Also, for the record, try not to shoot prey species, either, unless you have to. A deer's hooves are very sharp! ...Really, I had no idea it was so hard to shoot a deer! ...I wonder if that was the same guys who couldn't shoot the lion?
` And as a sidenote, we all know that squirrels will do anything to get food, right? I thought it was somewhat interesting when they will will even face a dangerous cat! Yet another form of bravery, though somewhat foolhardy!

` This next topic may be of interest to many people: Did you know that animals regularly get drunk in the wild? ...But when your dog gets protective of its beer, perhaps it's time for CAA (Canine Alcoholics Anonymous). Also, I didn't know this, but chimps can apparently get addicted to smokes, too!
` And some animals just get addicted to being scratched. They will tell you so in no uncertain terms.

` Believe it or not, but I am very much opposed to the pointless cruelty off bullfights, considering that the very definition is the disabling of a bull in order to make it easier to kill, and thensending it out on a stage so it can be slowly tortured and killed for entertainment purposes. (Yes, among other things, the bull's neck tendons must be cut beforehand, to ensure that it won't do to the bullfighter what it can do to this car! ...Come to think of it, this is not all that different than those barbaric ancient Roman events where animals and people tore each other apart. Then again, I bet it was more amusing than most sit-coms.)
` Imagine my amusement when I saw a video where the bull had figured that if he was already screwed, then he might as well take as many people as he could with him! I had no idea they could jump that high!

` Oh, all the miscellaneous videos I have seen! I thought that it was interesting to see the amount of eye-foot-trunk-coordination an elephant can have, especially when it lobs a ball over its shoulder and kicks it with its rear foot! That looks so tricky, but I guess if you're an elephant, maybe it isn't so unusual.
` Have you ever wondered if it is really possible to train a cat to use the toilet? Since I've seen it before, I know it's true, and here's one video that proves it!
` Not only that, but rams have occasionally been known to mistake swingsets for rivals!
` And, for all you freak-gawkers out there, here's the rare Cat With Two Faces! It's really freaky!
` And, to my gory amusement, I found a video that showed when the Seattle Aquarium discovered that the giant octopus wasn't right for a tank of small sharks.
` Speaking of octopuses, I have always liked the way they can change color and texture instantly!

` Now, for a completely shocking subject; bestiality - on the beasts' part, of course! If you've ever wanted to see a donkey chasing down a man and raping him anally, the internet is the place! I bet that guy squealed like a piggy!
` If you thought that was disturbing, you can even watch as a rabbit humps both ends of a cat, steers try to play it rough with humans, a pig gets it on with a garbage can, and more! Can you believe it?
` It appears as if some male animals will stick their pink things anything, which is why you should never dress as a large species of deer when it's rutting season.

` And... for the record, as for people who doubt that something as delicate and lightweight as an airplane can practically disintigrate on impact at high speeds, leaving only small pieces in, say, the Pentagon building, please take into consideration that it is very like a large and hollow-boned bird and as easily ripped up as one.
` Now, look at this bird as it is struck by a baseball. Notice that it appears to explode. Now look as the same thing happens to this poor rabbit who has unwisely decided to run across a racetrack. You can see the ears fly right off!
` Couple that with the fact that aluminum lights up like a Roman candle and you can see why in the cases of many plane crashes that there is nearly nothing left!

` Back to what I was going on about before, I'd say that animals in general are fairly prone to being unpredictable. I still watch them in awe. They can really surprise you sometimes.
` Well, gotta go this instant. Bye.


Galtron said...

'Amazing agility' and 'superior senses!' Oh, you are too funny!

That one deer just standing there while the guy shot at him was too much! But then that other deer that humped those guys in the llama suit... they broke apart and the deer was roaring, like 'Hey! You're not supposed to fall apart!' Haaa haa!

Good finds!

Dan said...

I think you should make a video of your review of videos. And then you can review that video.

That would be so cool. ;)

S E E Quine said...

` Neat idea! Well, I suppose I could make a tape just for that....
` But seriously, I don't think that one idea is worth a YouTube account.

monado said...

Now here's a video you'll like: a scientific lecture about vampirism. It's long, but funny in a low-key way. Note the every-changing motto of the sponsor.

Merry Christmas / Yule / Winterval!

S E E Quine said...

` Looks interesting, because I can see the pictures. Unfortunately, I have no idea what the words are....

S E E Quine said...

` Oh! Durrr! I didn't realize Lou had plugged in the headphones - that's why I wasn't hearing anything. Well, now I am.

` This is amazing! It is so well-written that it seems almost like it could be convincing! Whoever came up with this was very thorough in their reasonings. ...Except the examples of quantum physics being so counterintuitive when going about the way vampires see two contradictory things to be true - I don't think that's accurate.
` Everything else - the amazingly plausible physiology, the evolutionary principles, they eat humans because they need a special protein found only in humans, they hibernate, have night vision that is too sensitive in bright lights, the 'crucifix glitch' in the eye, they breed via retroviruses - is very impressive creativity!

` I like all the crazy different sloagans of FizerPharm, and that bunch of stuff at the very end about 'no worries, we should make more vampires, little Donny would want us to go on if he were still alive' - wow, that's hilarious.

` I wonder how many people think it's real? There's gotta be someone....

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