Monday, July 03, 2006

I Have Tasted Victory...

` ...And it's a bit like pussy, except not very wet. ...Um. That did not come out right.

` Let me go to the beginning: Back in January, I typed up this most... interesting bit of information from a computer that wasn't even mine in an apartment that wasn't mine, either. It's been sitting in draft mode for a while, and I think it's a pretty appropriate time to post it.
` So here goes:

` As you probably know, I spend a lot of my time both reading books and existing in a state of, not so much lecherousness as wishing that I could be lecherous. (Quite a predicament!) It doesn't matter what I read, however; I'm aroused as long as my brain is working.
` It is no surprise, then, that I tore all the way through the utterly brobdingnagian Guide to Getting it On by Paul Joannides (4th ed.), which is witty and informative on all kinds of sex-related topics including its place in culture, talking about sex to young kids, making love despite spinal cord damage, homosexuality, 'gnarly sex germs', and of course, much discussion of various techniques.
` None of which I am familiar with, personally, so hooray for the fact that I know the mechanics of what I'm missing. [Update: Replace the word 'missing' with 'unable to feel'.]
` So, what hornilicious item is it that I regard as a most amazing goal in life?

` The Normal Penis.

` Oh my, yes, those are difficult to come by in this bizarre country they call America. And It's not like I can just walk up to a guy and ask him; "Has your penis suffered heavy losses?" Of course, he may well not know what I was talking about, and would probably run the other direction.
` A behavior I'm thoroughly used to observing in the first place.

` That aside, I don't actually talk about the subject much unless I actually overhear someone else discussing it! For example, the time I heard a girl say that she would puke if she ever saw one.
` That was an ugly intellectual showdown.
` Grisly details aside, I am well aware of the facts surrounding penises and their normalness. It is safe to say that this girl was - shall we say - phobic of something she doesn't even understand. Not only that, but she is amazingly intolerant and probably wants them eliminated from the face of the earth.
` Somehow, though, I'm not surprised considering the tiny amount of scientific/critical thinking-oriented education that people receive in this country.
` And, to give you a good idea about the kinds of things I already knew anyway (except written with such wit!), I've dedicated this post to reproducing this particular section of the Guide:

` Chapter 49 - Fun With Your Foreskin.

` It's actually history-oriented rather than fun-oriented, believe it or not!

` ...Although, on the page before the chapter begins, we find a partial letter from a reader who describes her amazement with the amount of funness she discovered in foreskins and comments: "...The wanton horny bitch that resides within myself has now been released and owes you all at the Goofy Foot Press gratitude and the author the best blow job ever!"
` The author responds graciously:

"Drive south on 1-5 until you reach the Corvallis exit, go west..."
` And, without further ado:

` Medically speaking, routine circumcision makes about as much sense as removing a kid's eyelids or cutting out the labia of a baby girl. So why are so many American boys routinely circumcised?

` During the 1880s, a few influential men like John Harvey Kellogg, physician and founder of a famous American cereal company, started preaching that boys masturbate because the foreskin rubs on the head of the penis. Until that time, most American men were not circumcised. As a leading anti-masturbation fanatic, Dr. Kellogg believed that boys who were circumcised at birth would be less likely to play with themselves. His influence helped circumcision to become a routine operation in America. Swell guy that he was, Dr. Kellogg also reccommended that girls who masturbate have their clitorises burned out with acid.

` [It's a wonder that did not become more popular, considering the status of women at the time. Not that I'm complaining.]

` Is There A Medical Need For Circumcision?

` America's medical establishment has tried to justify its hand in circumcision by saying that it prevents cancer of the penis, cancer of the cervix and numerous other medical calamities. [Similar medical reasons are also given for routine female circumcision by some doctors in other cultures!] If this were true, why would physicians in England decide that the operation is not such a good idea. Less than 10% of blokes in the UK have their dicks docked.

` [And the reason for this still-unusually high percentage is that routine circumcision used to be much more popular in English-speaking countries. It is evidently still in the last stages of 'wearing off' in Britain, and for some reason, the US is its last stronghold.]

` As for cancer of the penis and cervix, it now seems that a strain of the HPV virus is the culprit. Either way, there is no evidence that circumcision prevents cancer of the penis. In fact, in circumcised men who do get cancer of the penis, the cancer tends to break out on the circumcision scar.

` [Hey, doesn't scar tissue encourage cancer development?]

` Women who live in countries where men aren't circumcised have no higher rate of cervical cancer than women in America. The only penis-related item that increases a woman's chance of getting cancer of the cervix is having numerous male sex partners, circumcised or not. Condom use might help decrease this risk, but circumcision has no impact.

` Cancer of the penis is extremely rare. More men get breast cancer. In evaluating cancer risks, it is twice as dangerous for a woman to have intact labia than for a man to have an intact foreskin.

` [Indeed, as I've always joked - it's first and foremost important to cut off his pecs if the object is to prevent cancer! Amputating the foreskin, in comparison, would be like an afterthought.]

` In Sweden, where few men are circumcised, cancer of the penis is just as rare as in the circumcision-happy United States. It would be interesting to compare the number of penises lost to cancer with the number of penises mutilated [more than the mandatory amount] through botched circumcisions.

` As for other claims, one study years ago did show that circumcised males were less likely to get urinary tract infections during the first year of life. However, in that study the parents of the uncircumcised babies were instructed to pull back their foreskins and wash under them. [Pssh!] Yet parents should do just the opposite, because nature did not intend the foreskin to retract before one year of age. It is quite likely that the instructions given to the parents were what caused the higher rate of infections among the uncircumcised boys. But even if those figures are correct, the number of urinary tract infections is still much greater in female babies, and no one is reccommending preventive surgery for them.

` There have also been claims that uncircumcised men are more apt to catch sexually transmitted diseases, including AIDS. However, European men don't show any greater incidence of these diseases than American men, and European men are mostly uncircumcised. Until recently, American men who were uncircumcised tended to be from poor families. Whether circumcised or not, poor people often get diseases at a higher rate than those who are rich.

` Finally, there exists a myth that large percentages of uncircumcised [or normal-penised] babies will have foreskins that don't retract (phimosis), and that these males will need surgery when they grow older to correct this condition. In reality, fewer than 1 out of 100 uncircumsized men have this condition, and a foreskin-friendly urologist can almost always help to resolve the problem without having to cut the kid.

` So Why Do They Keep Doing It?

` A physician makes between $150 and $300 per circumcision. Doing one circumcision per day, five days per week, at a fee of $150 each minus time out for a six week vacation nets a physician an extra $34,500 per year for a procedure that takes less than ten minutes. [During which the baby is screaming his lungs out.] And that's only one a day at the lower rate. No wonder why pediatricians and obstetricians used to fight over who got to do the circumcision!

` Another reason for doing circumcision is medical bias. Until recently, physicians in this country have had a long-standing bias that hysterectomies are good for women and circumcisions are good for men. Before managed health care, they also had a bias for C-sections over natural births, given that C-sections were much more profitable and easier to schedule.

` In short, there appears to be no medical reason besides possible income enhancement for doing routine circumcision. There does, however, appear to be a very good reason why nature equipped the penis with a foreskin. Not only is the foreskin rich in pleasure-producing nerve endings, but it also keeps the head of the penis [a distinctly internal structure] moist, and the [not] extra skin provides added sliding pleasure during intercourse and masturbation. The foreskin is extremely elastic and is said to be as sensitive to touch as the human lips. Far from being unneccesary, a foreskin is a nice thing to have.

` How They Do It

` During male circumcision, they stick a prodding instrument into the foreskin to tear it away from the head of the penis. One third to one half of the skin on the penis is then cut off. Traditionally, male circumcisions have not been done with anesthesia [hence the struggling and screaming], but even when anesthesia is used [which isn't very effective on infants], there is still pain from the raw scar on the penis.

` [Might I add that doing a non-medical procedure like this - to boys or girls - is legally considered to be sexual abuse, torture, and genital mutilation. It also violates the rights to self-determination and the right to be allowed a sound, healthy and unmolested body while in the care of other people.
` Those are the rights of everyone. However, some people don't seem to understand that, no matter how much they hate having been circumcised. One such person has said; 'It's up to the parents to decide, even though I know how bad it is' though the truth is that the parents don't have the authority to infringe on their children't rights.]

` Religious Considerations

` Some people will say, "But circumcision is done for important religious and cultural reasons." The same is true for female circumcision, which we refer to as genital mutilation.

` Some people say this is being direspectful of an important ritual in the Jewish faith. This is true. We are also disrespectful of the Catholic Church's ban on birth control and masturbation. If Jewish men want to be circumcised as an expression of faith, why not let them wait until they are eighteen years old and able to call the Mohel themselves? That would be a far greater expression of faith than having the end of your penis shopped off when you're only a few days old and can't tell the Torah from a phone book.

` According to psychologist Ronald Goldman, not all Jewish men are circumcised. Theodore Herzl, the founder of modern Zionism, did not allow his own son to be circumcised. Even Moses did not circumcise his son, and circumcision was not done during the forty-year period in the wilderness. It is quite possible that this custom arose out of the Egyptian practice to circumcise Jewish slaves. Over time, this became a ritual or custom, and eventually became associated with the Covenent.

` The ultimate goal of circumcision, according to ancient rabbis and Jewish religious scholars from Philo to Maimonides, was to decrease sexual pleasure for both men and women. This would give men more time to study the Torah, and result in women receiving less sexual pleasure from a man who was circumcised.

` In 1843, Reform Movement leaders in Frankfort, Germany started a mini-house revolt against circumcision. This group of intellectuals and professional argued that 1) Circumcision had not always been practiced among Jews; 2) It was not commanded to Moses; 3) It's not unique among Jews, given how Muslims do it as well; 4) It is only discussed once in the Mosaic law and not repeated in Deuteronomy; 5) There was no comparable practice for females.

` Perhaps one of the most interesting elements of circumcision in the Jewish religion is that for the first 2000 years of practice, only the tip of the foreskin was cut. [As seen in Michaelangelo's Statue of David.] This was called Milah. It was only after the first 2000 years of Milah that they started whacking off the entire foreskin.

` Resource:
A very helpful book on this subject is Questioning Circumcision - A Jewish Perspective by Ronald Goldman, Ph.D., Vanguard, Boston, 1998.

` The Parents - Foreskin Care

` Do not try to retract the foreskin of a young boy unless there is a specific medical reason. During infancy and childhood, the inner surface of the foreskin is physically attached to the skin on the head of the penis. This protects the opening of the penis from irritation, infection and ulceration. Over time, the cells that attach these two surfaces together will dissolve on their own. By trying to retract this foreskin prematurely, you are ripping apart these delicate tissues that nature has "glued" together.

` A young boy will often push his foreskin away from this body. As he gets older, he will begin to pull it toward his body. A number of males don't fully retract their foreskins until they into their teenage years [sic]. This is normal and will usually happen without any coaxing or encouragement from mom and dad.

` Parents do need to tell their teenage boys about cleanliness. They should explain that once a boy is able to retract his foreskin he should clean it every day in the shower. [And they should mention that soap can wreck the pH balance - as with women - encouraging the growth of pathogens.] Enlightened parents might also explain that boys who don't keep their genitals clean don't get nearly as much oral sex as boys who do!

` Resources:

` Circumcision Information and Resource Pages

` National Organization of Circumcision Information Resource Centers (Includes a list of foreskin-friendly physicians)

` No Harm

` Circumcision Resource Center

` Doctors Opposing Circumcision (D.O.C.)
` 2442 NW Market Street, Suite 42
` Seattle, Washington 98107

` Pictures of intact foreskins

` Reader Comments [The 'fun' part, I presume.]

` "I'd never even seen an uncircumcised penis until my current lover, but I've decided now that it's the best thing since sliced bread. The foreskin makes hand jobs 100 times better and easier because it slides over the penis so you don't need lube. [As is discussed in detail in another chapter!] I was kind of nervous about it at first but then I realized how stretchy the foreskin is even though it looks kinda fragile. For blow jobs, I pull the foreksin down to the base and massage it there and go to town."
` female age 18

` "The only Jewish guy I ever slept with was also the only uncircumcised guy I ever slept with. He seemed to have more stamina than any of the others, but that might just be a coincidence."
` female age 21

` "For a blow job, pull the foreskin up over the head and stick your tongue down inside the opening and swirl it around."
` female age 38

` "Just ask the guy how he likes it. Some guys like you to pull the foreskin tight, others say this hurts."
` female age 20

` [Apparently they're muscular and dextrous....]
` "I use my foreskin to massage her clitoris. This might only be possible with a partner who has a larger than normal clitoris. You need to be able to get ahold of it."
` male age 65

` [This one explains why primitive humans did not need to invent lubrication - normal penises naturally have a lot of it:]
` "Once my wife and I are ready for penetration, I roll my foreskin all the way shut. I press it gently against her labia while spreading them slightly, and push the glans in just a little. Then, I withdraw the glans back inside the foreskin, never exposing it to open air. What this does is spread her lubricant all over the first half of my penis. After several strokes like this, I am able to slip inside easily. Sometimes we find this so pleasurable that we continue a good long while before penetrating father."
` male age 38

` "A partner should know that the inside of a foreskin is where there is the most feeling, so gentle movement of it over a cock-head [I love that word...] and down the shaft feels great. The best part of getting a blow job is what a tongue and mouth can do with that inside lining of a foreskin."
` male age 59

` "One thing I find particularly stimulating is to lubricate a finger or thumb, slip it between the foreskin and the head, and massage the glans. It feels really, really great."
` male age 19

` "When did I first retract it? I was around ten. I would slowly pull it back every day in the shower. After about two weeks I was able to pull it all the way down."
` male age 22

` "Letting the foreskin balloon is quite nice both when peeing and when enjoying the pool jets."
` male age 37

` "I like to do the trick of clamping the end shut while peeing and making it swell up. Also, a similar and a more satisfying experience is to leave just a bit of the end open and put it under a strong flow of water so that the water flows in but has a place to get out."
` male age 20

` I have finally consulted the resources of a guy with a foreskin and his nakedness, and managed to find many of these things true before we were interrupted by a Very Angry Ex-Girlfriend. He must have told her what had been going on because she was chewing him out as Lou and I made our escape. Lou had said; "We'll get out of here before someone comes back with a shotgun."

` Damn!

` I have also previously consulted the resources of the AMA and the APS, as well as those of other countries, and they are all in agreement with this chapter. It is abundantly clear that routine circumcision is one of the more disturbing side-effects of culture.
` I have heard its effects from time to time. In fact, I have been ridiculed for my rational attitude.
` 'What? You don't believe in circumcision? Why? That's barbaric!'
` 'I'm glad I don't have a foreskin. I saw pictures in school and it was disgusting!'
` 'I can't figure out why my friend is impotent after being circumcised. Other circumcised guys can have sex. Do you think it's all mental?'
` Is it all mental? Let us ask 'Steve', a young man I interviewed who tragically lost his foreskin and has had to narrow his definition of the word 'sex'. He had plenty to say on the subject.

` I kid you not.

` Conversely, plenty of people do not understand the appeal of any type of genital mutilation. I have been told all of these things, each by different people:

` 'I think that's just creepy and gross. I'm sorry, if they cut off part of my genitals, I would be so alienated by that.'
` 'I saw it happen to my little brother when I was about four. I was so freaked out by all the screaming and the blood that I convinced him not to have it done on his son. He didn't understand why it was important to me, but at least he listened.'
` 'Circumcision is the reason I know my parents aren't perfect.'
` 'I just can't figure out why people do that! It's crazy.'
` 'That was awfully inconsiderate of my parents. Apparently, they didn't think that I might enjoy not having my genitals cut up.'

` It is just as well - medical doctors do not have the right to do this kind of thing, in any country. They may do so anyway for personal reasons - or because they are ordered to - though they must be forgetting that people have rights that protect them from this kind of maltreatment.
` (Or yes, Galtron, monetary reasons.)
` When a professional has a non-medical or pseudo-medical opinion, they should not be allowed to use that to violate someone's body and well-being. Yet, it happens.
` Similarly, some pharmacists will refuse to fill women's prescriptions for birth control pills on non-medical grounds. Plan B especially freaks some pharmacists out. If a woman cannot get ahold of that, she may wind up facing pregnancy and rearing or getting rid of her a child - or even scarier, abortion!
` What the hell?

` Anyway, I think that this is the limit of my ranting on this subject. In fact, I may never write of it again, as my goal was to write about this at least once....


Galtron said...

Oh, I could have told you that stuff. Foreskins are fun. :) Cutting them off for no reason is bad. :(

So......... you've tasted pussy before? You make out with Nymphos... you must like women!!! WOMEN-LIKER!!

Also.. does this mean Lou a MAN LIKER???

S E E Quine said...

` Stop pointing out the fact that I wrote about those things!!! I want people to wonder!

Galtron said...

You're not doing a very good job.

Also, unlike what you have said, the chapter tells us that doctors might know better but they'll just do that kind of thing for monetary reasons, not personal reasons.

Hamsters R Us said...

Frankly, I think that book is biased. I've read lots of stories about guys who have really liked being circumcized.
There was this one guy who was pretty happy about it because he wasn't all yucky anymore. He said that it seemed to have increased sensitivity, except for the head, which he said was only half as sensitive. But that was good because he could do a lot more rough things without hurting it because it was over-sensitive before.

In fact, he was so happy about it that he talked his kids into doing it to their grandson and he had no qualms about that - he really believed they made the right choice.

I think that circumcision is kind of logical too because humans don't need it, whereas animals do. We wear clothing, right? So theres no need for any other protection.
A lot of people say But that's not natural, cutting foreskins off! Well natural isn't always better, right? Appendixes are natural parts and they can burst and kill us! We REALLY don't need every body part - some of them are a disavantage or not needed like mens nipples.

I mean, just because we'rre born with something doesn't mean we have to KEEP it!

Galtron said...

I'm assuming you're a guy. I guess you're biased against your own genitals! Wow, that's sad, because I like mine the way they're supposed to be!
And I can testify that I, like most guys, prefer to keep them!
Foreskins actually do serve various purposes - they're far from vestigial - such as... allowing full expansion, being fun to have, and protecting the sensitive tip - clothing actually damages circumcised penises.

And I should mention - foreskins also don't kill people when they malfunction. It's much better to help babies by cutting out their appendixes (appendices?) than cutting their genital tissues off.

Also, mine is perfectly un-yucky, thank you very much! I know how to shower!!!

S E E Quine said...

` Thank you, Galtron, for subbing for me while I was busy all day until one in the morning.

` Yes, it never ceases to amaze me how bigoted some guys can be about the completeness of their own penises, particularly when they don't know. That just seems so... anti-guy-ish!
` Indeed, I was not being biased at all - foreskins are not only harmless, they are quite functional, as Galtron has mentioned. Nature put them there for a reason - indeed, they have an additional use for people who wear clothing because they prevent damage and desensitization from constant physical contact.

` You would know that if you had one.

` That story you're citing sounds like one I saw on a website that basically has this to say; "Look at all the evidence for and against circumcision. You'll see that they're both good and bad in different ways, so all in all, it doesn't matter what you pick. Which one do you want to choose for your child? (No, they don't have a choice, only you do!)"
` Indeed, this 'you decide' business is the type of message that a lot of news media give people for one-sided issues.
` Basically, it serves the purpose of making people feel like they're making a choice. They will even go out of the way to completely make something up in order to make people feel like they have a choice - if there is no perceived choice, then various people complain that there is a bias - they want 'another side!'!
` This is how it goes: 'Look at this (the truth), now look at this (a fabricated or false opposing view), you decide!' That's a really non-objective way to present something, but alas, it is very common.

` So am I really being biased? Think about it:
` 'Medical' circumcision began in the Victorian Era to desensitize penises (and vulvas), because loss of sperm was perceived as much worse than loss of blood, and the female orgasm was thought to cause medical problems.
` The guy who is probably most responsible for propagating male circumcision recommended it for curing everything from strabismus to hydrocephalus. He also founded (or at least co-founded) the American Medical Association and the Journal of the AMA.
` Lots of people followed his examples of bizarre, Victorian medical practices - including circumcision - and praised him even when they didn't work!

` Because of this, male circumcision became an American custom, and soon, new, more obvious indications were invented for it, including cleanliness and the prevention of various diseases, which are also 'medical arguments' for female circumcision.
` It was so popular that it also became a medical custom in other English-speaking countries, although America is the only one (and the only developed country!) where more than half of boys continue to be circumcised to this day - Canada and Australia also have a significant amount of this, but only about 15%, not nearly as much as the U.S.!

` In other words, it was a silly little thing to begin with and it only became big because of the appeal to the anti-sex culture of that time! It never should have happened in the first place, but alas, it is too late to prevent it from becoming a craze.
` What I'm saying here is; The way it came about was nonsensical to begin with: Well over a century later, it's still pretty silly - there might be some ways that nature can be improved upon, though it has been well-established that circumcision of any time is not one of them!

` It doesn't surprise me that some men will say good things about being post-circumcision as opposed to beforehand - assuming these are genuine testimonials. For example, I have read many stories of women who say that homologous female circumcision improved their sensitivity because it exposes the head of the clitoris.
` However, everyone's different, and I wouldn't expect that to be the majority view. (In fact, I know it would be ruinous for me - my clitoral hood is very important in these matters, and to hell with what's underneath it!)

` Oh... and about 'yuckiness'... characteristically, women have far more 'yuckiness' on a day-to-day basis. It doesn't bother me at all, and this has nothing to do with 'what I'm supposed to put up with' - it's just not a big deal. (The only girl I ever met who did have a problem with 'yuckiness' of some kind or another wanted to be circumcised, but she was apparently obsessive-compulsive with cleanliness.)
` In fact, I do know of one person who told me of a guy with a gross foreskin - she had to make him wash it before giving him oral. I was somewhat incredulous until she remembered; "That's right... he barely ever washed it because the head was so sensitive the shower water hurt it!"
` Well, there you go! Not washing for days will do that! In fact, I have the same problem - I never wash under my bodily part that is homologous to a foreskin because the underlying structure homologous to the head is painfully sensitive and can never be exposed.

` In sum, I'm not saying that any erogenous genital part is good to have because it's natural, I'm saying that they're good to have because they really are good in their own right!
` It is also true that none of them are vestigial - even when they are not needed for reproduction! Labia and foreskins are there to keep everything clean, well-lubricated and sensitive.
` (Also, I can argue that men's nipples aren't entirely vestigial because at least in our species they have evolved to become erogenous zones!)

` So... how do you figure that I'm being biased?

Hamsters R Us said...

Hey, I came back!


Then why do so many guys hate them? I mean, there was this one story about this boy who lived in some European country and his foreskin was bothering him an awful lot, getting infected and stuff. He asked his mom to have it cut off but she wouldn't and wouldn't. Eventually when he was old enough he got himself circumcised and it doesn't get infected anymore and he feels a lot better about it.
Do you think he was obsessive compulsive?
Same thing with some other guys, too.

I mean, that's why I thought they were gross in the first place! In high school, we made fun of the guy with the foreskin and called him uncivilized. He called us barbarians for 'shunning manhood', and I thought it was funny.

Were we all wrong?

S E E Quine said...

` Those opinions sounds like the stereotypes that a lot of guys believe, as Steve has testified. (He responded to his gym-mates; "At least I'm a whole man! I'm all there!")
` Sure, a rare few guys have serious problems with their foreskins, like 'Steve' did, but keep in mind, this is unusual!

` Many people act as if the probability of problems with foreskins is somehow higher than in most other parts of the body. What you have to realize is that it's not true - just ask someone from Europe! (They will probably say that circumcision is the thing that is uncivilized!)

` As with any other body part, it is best to allow the boy to grow into a man and see if he has a problem (which he almost certainly won't) rather than ruin a perfectly good, healthy penis by pumping baby's stomach so he doesn't puke, strapping him down so he doesn't kick, and ripping and snipping it off while he screams the highest he'll ever scream in his life, so that he's simultaneously traumatized and forever sexually crippled.

` ...I'm sorry if that sounds overly-emotional, but it's nevertheless accurate. In any case, it seems fair, doesn't it?

` Really, you should hear the myths they have in South Korea, which was been culturally influenced by the Americans in the circumcision department.
` They call it 'the phimosis operation' because they think that men will almost certainly get phimosis (I'm assuming this is the rare type of 'phimosis' that is caused by an infection that both men and women require circumcision to rid themselves of). Apparently, though, they aren't concered about women getting it.
` Weirdly, they almost always do it to kids just before reaching puberty, or even people who already have a sex life! Many of those complain, and will tell you exactly why. The ones who say it's improved things usually don't say why. (Suspicious?)
` They also think that other cultures like those in Japan or Germany have similar views of circumcision because they are first-world countries while people in the third-world countries don't because they're poor.
` Whoa!!
` That's not the case at all, of course... and you should also hear the myths from the Philippines - which were also influenced by America in this way.
` There, the kids are knocking on the doctor's office door, asking the doctors to circumcise them, thinking that it will make them bigger and stronger!

` What... the... hell?!

` And... well, what do men say after they've been circumcised because of serious conditions?
` Generally, they say that sex isn't so great, like Steve, although many of them say that it's better than it was with a painful condition (unlike Steve) or that they like the way it looks better than before (also unlike Steve).
` Overall, it's still pretty devastating. (And this I base on a scientific poll published in JAMA - I think - though I don't remember who it was by.)

` And if you want anecdotes, I've got more... what about the British guy who, for some odd reason, was circumcised and he was really ashamed of it and hid from other guys in the bathroom?
` On top of that, it was really irritating - the glans was so sensitive that he had to wear super-tight underwear to keep himself from jiggling around.
(He feels much better now that he's grown more skin to cover the glans up.)

` Or what about the American boy who didn't know he was circumcised until he went to junior high school?
` He noticed that some of the other boys had more penis than he, and this made him very self-conscious. He couldn't believe that parents would do such a thing to their kids!

` Neither could I at first, but when you look at the way cultures work, almost anything is possible.

` Of course, anecdotes don't make a science, but it just goes to show that even if you circumcise someone, that doesn't mean that they will like it.

` I know that the whole 'but the other kids are, too' has been cited (by laymen) as a valid argument for circumcision, as I had read in a parenting magazine I found in a waiting room.
` This was in a little blurb called 'To Circumcise or Not to Circumcise', and it had three measly 'cons' (none of which had anything to do with the outright results) and three pathetic 'pros' (the other two being UTI and phimosis prevention).
` The whole blurb was so innacurate and totally didn't take the issue seriously! it was one of those stupid 'well, it doesn't really matter about what the consequences are of this serious matter, here's a little bit of inaccurate information, now you decide' things I was talking about.

` I was horrified to think that someone might actually think it had a point, and doubtless many parents-to-be have!
` On the other hand, I've found that people who consult medical journals have discovered that, and I quote; "Wow! Circumcision really is a load of crap!!"
` It's not just me.

` I mean, just because the circumcised kids have been told that it's fine doesn't mean that they've been told right. The little opinions of humans don't matter to the whole universe, right?
` In South Korea, a man cannot go into a bath house with his penis still intact, lest he lose status. Yet, in places where the view is the opposite, a man could be looked down upon (or even pitied) for being without a foreskin.
` Either way, cultural opinions don't have any kind of impact on reality, because reality exists outside of people's minds.
` And reality dictates that foreskins aren't at all useless nor especially disease-causing, even though many people think that is one of its unusual qualities.
` (An examination of almost any foreskin, human or otherwise, will not have a higher likelihood of infection than say, an eyeball or something.)

` So, when you use critical thinking skills, you find what is most likely the truth, which is that foreskins are normal body parts that have a (sometimes fun) place in people's lives, that aren't disease-magnets, and that aren't the type of part a sane person would consider to be undesirable if they knew a lot of accurate information about it.

` Also, personal investigation shows a low level of grossness and a high level of slidiness and stretchiness and lubricatiousness.
` I say this all without giggling girlishly.

` (And for the record, Galtron, Lou was only watching.)

` So, as far as guys having problems with diseases, it happens sometimes, but usually circumcision isn't the most effective (or least-damaging) cure.
` They are just unusually prone to infections for some reason - many girls are as well: Do you suggest they all be circumcised, too?

Anonymous said...

Hey Spoony, I like how you take time out to defend yourself from the brainwashed masses. Yugogurl!!!

S E E Quine said...

` Thanks!

` I like that term... brainwashed masses. ...I might find myself using it sometime.... ;)

Monkeykittydude said...

Ha At least i'm a whole man! sweet I'm gonna say that more often.
And yeah I'm uncircumcized, and i have no problems what so ever!
so yah heres my opinion. Don't get circumcized.


S E E Quine said...

` I've always wondered about that, since I know that you were born in Canada... to... well, your very awesome mother.
` Good for you! (So, then... like, does anyone who knows that about you think that being a whole man is stupid or something?)

Monkeykittydude said...

umm I Don't really tell people because its not of that much importance, but back to the subject, no nobodys given me shit about being a "Whole man". Its just I wanna say that for fun yuh know?

S E E Quine said...

` Hee hee! That is kind of a cool thing to say....